What I want for Christmas...

I committed a dreadful sin yesterday. I went shopping on a Sunday afternoon! The shop I was in was heaving with people grabbing and shoving, and even the attitude of the young boy behind the till left a lot to be desired: "£15.99, Grandad," he said to me!! There was very much there a scene of  what I want, over respect for others in that space, and I am glad to not have to go in another shop again before Christmas Day.

I read in the Metro the other day about a teenage girl who has written to Father Christmas telling Santa he will be killed if she doesn't get at least two things from her long list of gifts, which includes a Blackberry smartphone and "the real life Justin Bieber." "Two of these or you die," she has written. The story gets worse...

Her mother has found the letter in her school bag, and she says this:
"When I first found the letter, I thought it was funny. Now I think I'd better get her what she wants. The last thing I want is for her to kill Santa."
And the girl says (this is even worse!):
"I don't really believe in Santa any more, but I was angry because I thought I wasn't going to get all the presents I wanted this year. I want all of these things and I don't see why I shouldn't have them."

Lord, have mercy.

I become more concerned that we are living in an age where if we don't get what we want, then we will make threats, even more worrying than this girl has done, I guess to her parents, rather than a Santa she no longer believes in. "I know what I want, how I like things done, I want my views heard, I am important."

Perhaps that's why the incarnate God was rejected in the Christmas narrative we shall hear this week. People had a list of demands of how God would come on earth and when he came into dirt and mess and outside of respectability, they began a process of trying to destroy him. People are still doing that this very day through lack of vision, lack of respect for others in community, lack of openness to the Gospel basics, lack of being receptive to surprise. I have had a year where in many ways I haven't got what I wanted. There are things that have happened to me I didn't want or need. I am still learning why some things have been as they have been. An Anglican friend wrote to me this morning quoting the Methodist Covenant prayer about being "laid aside" and I have had to face that, however uncomfortable it has been to not do, and not know what is happening beyond my illness and my home life and the lives of my friends. But if we always got what we wanted, we would be so unattractive and selfish, wouldn't we? Doesn't life teach us some hard lessons sometimes? God in his love for us is patient and all embracing, but he doesn't always give us our shopping list of demands. He gives us what is best, even if we don't see it at the time.

I contrasted our spoilt teenage girl with two children last night at a service of lessons and carols I went to in the Anglican church at Steyning. They ran up and down the transcepts, clearly annoying some people, but I watched their faces. They were excited, there were new things to explore, and they were there with wide eyed wonder at what was around us. They were exploring new possibilities and it was fun.

The picture in this post is of a recently dedicated stained glass window in the Methodist Church in Pett, East Sussex, where I shall be the minister from next September. I love this window and told them so when I visited them last month to look round. The colour and brightness of God can transform the darkness of the world, however bad, in God's time. I guess then there are two responses we can make: petulance and sulking when we don't get what we want, or openness to something unexpected.

So today, I am open to surprises. I don't want to be like that teenager, I don't want to be so boring I am not open to new ways of being shown God's purposes. Our Christian belief is that God is always making things new, not the same. There are always new things to look for, new things to learn, things not on our list, that will be better than what we think we want or need. (Although Bruce Forsyth's CD "These are my favourites" might be nice, Santa!)
  

Good on Little Mix

I am an avid X Factor watcher, and even watched Pop Idol its predecessor, and I will admit to owning a Michelle McManus CD! (It is good, actually!)
I am glad Little Mix won last night. Why? Not because I will go out and buy their album, but because they seem to be nice, ordinary, down to earth people. Sometimes nice, ordinary, down to earth people need a break, and I wish them well, and hope they don't change. I know one of them was bullied at school, and another of them has had some horrendous things written about their weight. Why can't we accept people as we are? So, good luck girls. (I am still more likely to buy an Amelia Lily album, though!)    

Called to have your head on a plate?

We have bought ourselves an Advent wreath with candles in it and later will light three candles. Traditionally, we remember John the Baptist on the third Sunday in Advent, preparing the way of the Lord.

It gets me thinking about how in life there are people who see a situation and have, through a deep conviction about change, or seeing a great injustice, to stir things up. This often leads to hostility, pain and ostracism.
Often, people in this sort of ministry do not see the end result, but without their outspokenness, their courage, their integrity, the cause they are fighting for would have died. They aren't popular at the time, but perhaps later people see why what needed saying or doing was necessary.

So today I am remembering people who are having a hard time convincing others of the need to change; of those who are struggling personally because people are not prepared to listen to them; of those who are called to prepare but not see (I often think of Moses who spent years preparing a people for good things, journeying with them through the desert, getting a lot of grief, and then he does not see the good things himself, but Joshua after him does. I wonder if he called God unfair?)

And, I am also remembering the Salomes in the world, who want nothing better than see a perceived troublemaker brought down, their head on a plate for their pleasure. There are people who don't like being told what to do. "What do you mean I need to repent? I am the pillar of my church."

Sometimes we forget the hard toil of making things better for people, and sometimes we excuse the behaviour of those who will do anything to stop that process.

Later, we will light the third candle to remember the messengers of hope and life and the reaction of those who hear such messages. Here is the prayer from the Iona collection Candles and Conifers for today:

"We light this candle for all God's messengers preparing the way for change, signs pointing to a new age to come. God, as we wait for your promise, give light, give hope."
(Prayer by Jan Berry)

What is the point of Christmas?

I am pondering this question today. What does Christmas mean when you don't go to church or have any contact with the "Christian Christmas"? What does Christmas mean in a time of austerity? Is it a time of pressure where people feel they have to buy someone else's love through the pressure of the season? The more you spend, the happier you will be...?

This year, I am not "doing church" at all, for the first time in my life, during Advent and Christmas, although I might have to find a Midnight Communion on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day will be just a normal day for us, really. What is it all about? What is it all about for people with no faith, who seem to get so stressed for just one day and after the day feel really miserable and deflated? Why do we put so much into one day?

For me, I guess Christmas is a reminder of several important things. Perhaps when we easily forget the basics of God's way, we need reminders in our calendar.

1. That God loves me just as I am (so I should beat myself up less when I am not what others expect thinking there is lots wrong with me.) The story is a reminder of exactly where God comes, into ordinary life.

2. If this is so, then we need to remember what Christianity is. It is relational, above all else. Jesus is a sign that there is nowhere God is not, and our responsibility as Christians is to be God's people in difficult places and not hide away in the comfort of cosy ritual and undemanding platitudes. Someone passed me a quote from Eugene Peterson the other day, in which he suggests we need more chaplains today than leaders. Christmas is a reminder of incarnation - that God comes alongside people, in the mess and confusion of life. People need to know they matter, much more than they need expensive presents we cannot really afford.

3. Perhaps this season reminds me that we need to value and respect other people far more than we do. I get frustrated with labels, people disregarded and devalued, a world where somehow some are better than others. The story of Christ's birth as described by the Gospel writers reminds me that God does not come to a church building or where we expect, he comes where people are too important to enter. We can see God's face in whoever we meet, and if we believed that, then life would be different.

I am not sure I have answered my questions. I remain fascinated why people get so stressed about this period of the year, even in churches! I wonder what God makes of it all?  

A Different Advent

How to do Advent without leading any worship? One of my folk at church asked me how I am coping yesterday.

As think about the wonder of God’s coming in Christ into the world, this year, with illness stopping me doing my usual rushing around, I am pondering a verse of a carol that will no doubt be sung somewhere in the next few weeks, about the shepherds and their journey. It is part of O come, all ye faithful:

See how the shepherds, summoned to his cradle, leaving their flocks draw nigh to gaze.

We too shall thither, bend our joyful footsteps…

For most people, this season is about activity, hurry, parties and presents, all good things, but not the most important thing. I am struck by the idea of “drawing nigh to gaze” because maybe that is the first step to understanding the theology of the incarnation. In my preaching, my leading of groups, my pastoral care of people, I have tried in my outlook to show to people a God who in Jesus is there for us whatever we face. The first response to that is not to do, but to be. The first thing shepherds, and later magi do, at the encounter of the divine is not to call a meeting, or plan a scheme, but worship. Perhaps that says something about what should be our priority.

The coming of God into a world of pain, hurt, misunderstanding, and darkness, is about his desire to transform those things not in six month’s time when he feels like getting round to it but NOW. He comes to heal, to mend, to reconcile, to bring light. All we have do is embrace the wonder, and realise the gift is real and is for us, no matter how we feel today. To know that presence can make today better, even if tomorrow feels daunting. I want to go back to work. I am impatient! But I have to accept I need time to heal. So maybe this Christmas for me will primarily be about quiet prayer, knowing he is here, and feeling loved by him, although when someone pointed out to me I might not be well enough to take midnight communion on Christmas Eve, I reacted quite badly to that but I have to accept it!

If we are struggling at this time with perhaps illness, or stress, or find Christmas and its expectations difficult, we simply need  to know we are not alone, to draw nigh and gaze. O come, let us adore him, Christ the Lord!

Chocolate Fudge Cake

I am rather loving it on looking at the calendar for one of my churches to be that they have a chocolate fudge cake service! Yummy scrummy!

First post - Not Before

Hello. This is my first attempt at a blog to ponder God, spiritual questions, life around me and sometimes the Church! Why "Not Before"? This is part of a quote by one of my heroes, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He wrote this which for me sums up why I do what I do and try and encourage others:
"There are people who regard it as frivilous, and some Christians think it impious, for anyone to hope and prepare for a better earthly future. They think that the meaning of present events is chaos, disorder, and catastrophe, and in resignation or pious escapism, they surrender all responsibility for reconstruction and for future generations. It may be that the day of judgment will dawn tomorrow; in that case, we shall gladly stop working for a better future. But not before."