I've not had an easy week. Today I have had a day where I could not be bothered. I had done no preparation for worship tomorrow so I just sat down and wrote. The passage set is the parable of the mustard seed.
In my last Circuit we had a church that was very
successful, growing, with lovely
premises and their minister, the Superintendent, used to preach there every
Sunday, they were perceived by the rest of the Circuit in a different way. I
remember being towards the end of my time at a creating safe space and
safeguarding training morning. We talked about when people feel worth little,
especially when they are told by others they are useless, or different, or not
as good as we are, or that their contribution to community isn’t really much
good. I watched some folk from one church in our Circuit drinking coffee
looking in awe and wonder at all the technology and gizmos around Southwick
premises. They were starting in their conversation to compare themselves with
it, and were feeling because they haven’t got screens in foyers and masses of
digital equipment and plush dishwashers that recycle water, not as good….
We beat ourselves up in life so quickly. We are not
as good as that Christian over there who does so much more than us. We are not
as effective as the Church down the road which is growing fast. We are made to
feel because life is measured by so called “success” and achievements and
goals, a world of appraisal and standards, less than the people we are called
to be. We see the world and her pain and there is so much to do – and we can’t
make a difference because we are so small. There are so many places where Good
News and compassionate justice are desperately needed and what can we do about
it? Better to not try than to be called stupid or be laughed at by others who
do it better.
Sometimes I think we think we need to solve it all,
to sort it all, to almost be God, and we forget that sometimes small steps are
a response to faith. We do what we can do, never mind the church down the road
does things we can’t do. What can we do?
There is also the matter of seeing our own
potential. This is difficult when others around us want to convince us we
aren’t very important, so we believe that. I remember our deputy headmaster at
secondary school –a frightening man – he had a glass eye – that’s not relevant
– but he did. He used to throw board rubbers at you if you were naughty in his
class. I failed quite a lot of my O Levels in 1983, some of them I got “ungraded”
for – I just froze in the exam room and panicked. I went back in the September
and he summoned me into his office. He looked at me with his good eye and he
said in a broad Yorkshire accent, “well son, I’ve only got one thing to say to
you, you’re useless, you’re absolutely useless.” Well, that made me feel a lot
better. It took me ages to believe in myself after a comment like that. We feel
small sometimes so we go in on ourselves. When people get at us, when we are belittled, we feel little, we feel
useless, we feel it’s not worth bothering because our contribution will be
deemed ridiculous.
There are better churches, better people to make a
difference, better educated people, better ministers than me, I am too small.
Jesus
tells a story about a mustard seed, about something small planted in the ground
that eventually grows into something big. The seed is so small, how can it make
a difference, but if it wasn’t planted, if it was laughed off, nothing would
grow.
When
Jesus sees a mustard seed he not only seems something tiny he also sees its
potential to unfold into something great. Thus he sees not only what is small
but also what is not visible at all. He sees a detail of creation and perceives
the full flourishing of new creation. The planting of the seed is but the
beginning. The small will be blessed and made bigger by God. God doesn’t
rubbish us, doesn’t compare us with others, he calls us to be faithful.
We need to remember the context of Jesus story.
Remember that Matthew’s Gospel was written for converts from Judaism, a sort of
manual to help early Christians live every day. They needed encouragement. The
new Christian Church must have felt very small and insignificant. But it will
not remain that way. It will grow into a sizeable bush – perhaps Jesus is
exaggerating a bit about the size of the tree – and the birds of the air will
come and rest in its branches. What’s that bit mean? Well, that’s about
Gentiles – the growth will go far beyond Judaism – there will be a safe place,
a haven for all people.
That’s how God works, think Abraham for example, his
faithfulness to follow a ridiculous scheme going to a country he’d never heard
of; think Jeremiah in pain from his call to try and talk of God’s ways to a
rebellious people; think of the widow’s mite, think of Mary wiping the feet
of Jesus with her hair; think of the early church at Pentecost, it began with
12 people whose track record wasn’t exactly brilliant; think of those who have
influenced you, perhaps most of them who’ve helped you in your faith have
quietly come to you and shown you something special, without them you would not
be who you are today.
A group of ministers who were very tired went on a
retreat. The retreat leader found them demoralised and unable to see what they
were spending hours doing was worth it. He said this to them:
“As bearers of
God's kingdom, we keep plugging away at activities which may look silly or
meaningless to the world but which we believe contain the very seed of a new
creation. We keep coming to church and singing our old hymns, reciting our old
formulas and creeds. All of us who preach keep cracking open an ancient
book called the Bible, looking to find within it truths that are anything-but
ancient. We keep gathering at sick beds and death beds and whisper our prayers
for the Spirit of the resurrection to be with us in life and in death. We keep
drizzling water onto squirming infants and popping cubes of white bread into
our mouths in the earnest faith that through the Spirit baptism and communion
don't just mean something, they mean everything.
And we keep working for Jesus in
this mixed-up, backward world of ours. We keep pointing people to an old rugged
cross, having the boldness to suggest that the man who died on that cross is
now the Lord of the galaxies.”
The potential of seed sowing. Yes, we
may struggle. There will be the perceived successful churches down the road,
there will be feelings of inadequacy when we see the world and its mess, there
will be horrible people out there trying their best to put us down. Yes,
we may feel like we are insignificant. Yes, it may seem like what we do
doesn't have much effect. But in this parable, Jesus says that it is
through things that seem insignificant and ineffectual that the Kingdom of God
comes. We need to keep planting those mustard seeds. Because, even
though we may not see the fruit of it, Jesus promises that this is how the
Kingdom comes. This Kingdom changes the world - and it is already
happening through us! That's encouragement we all need to hear.
That’s why I am thrilled I am inundated with baptisms at the
moment across the six communities I am sharing with. Some people say “well,
we’ll never see them again.” That isn’t the point at all. It is about the grace
of God a sacrament, a planting in people, an offering of God’s love, a moment
of the divine being near. I am glad we have a wedding here next month. A couple
up the road want to be married here. They know no hymns, they may not know how
to behave, it may be rowdy, but they are lovely, and we’ve met, and I’ve talked
God with them, we are planting seeds.
We do it on CAP befriender visits, we do through the food
bank, we might do it tomorrow through a conversation at Messy Church, we might
do it if we open our building more and provide somewhere to help with
loneliness in people, we do it with a 20p item at a jumble sale. We are
planting love in people, no explanation needed, we just do it, quiet, small
acts of kindness.
The
Kingdom of God starts small and unnoticeable. But when the Kingdom comes into
its own, it is everywhere, and you can’t miss it. We are part of that growth,
part of that kingdom, whether anyone recognizes us for what we are or not. The
most important thing is that God knows.
And you know I believe God gives us small things to
remind us of his presence. I had a lovely card of encouragement the other day
telling me something I’d lead had really helped him. This put the pile of
snotty letters into perspective. On social media, there is a thing called 100 happy
days – you take 100 days and every day you post something that has lifted your
spirits – often people post something very small, which has made them smile.
Often funeral addresses remind people of some of the tiny particularities that
made a person the individual they were. And if you listen to someone tell
the story of their grief you find the same thing: tiny details mark the most
significant, poignant moments. And stories of recovery from illness or
depression will similarly be anchored in moments of almost microscopic
particularity - hearing a certain piece of music, noticing a flower, seeing a
mother bird feed its chick - such are the turning points from that time of
blackness. That actually all will be well.
And you know the best thing about this little
story. It says you might not believe in yourself today, but plant the seed, do
your best, and it will all be okay, and you will be surprised at the
possibility with God. We need to remember God, who is big.
Sometimes we don’t know what to do with the section
of God’s Kingdom that we’ve been given. Our church, our neighbourhood, right
here. We don’t know what the future
holds for the church. But even in that unknowing, we have an advocate – the
Holy Spirit – that helps us in our weakness and intercedes for us with sighs
too deep for words. As Paul says in Romans, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God,
who are called according to his purpose.” I am greatly encouraged by that verse.
So, we keep on, and we expect much, and we put
ourselves down less, because we are worth so much to God, and we share with
others that they can grow too through our planting. In the end the things that
would convince us we are worth little will not have the last word. I’ll share
something naughty. Before I candidated for ministry I had a three
year contract as a lay worker in three village churches in my home Circuit. I
went and did a funeral at Dunstable Crematorium. They told me an organist would
turn up. This was in 1993, ten years after my dressing down at school.
In walked Mr Deputy Headmaster with the glass eye.
He sat down at the organ stall, he was the organist for the service. He didn’t
know what I was doing there.
He looked at me in the same way he’d looked at me
ten years earlier and said, “What are you doing here, son?” Very naughtily I
handed him a piece of paper, and I said, “I’m taking the service, here are your
hymns.” He was speechless!
The Christian faith is about planting and about
potential not about belittling and power and making people feel small. We need
to celebrate what we can do here and we need to remember what God can do.
Perhaps I’ll end then with these words from Marianne Williamson from a book
called “A Return to Love.”
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not
our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,
and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel
insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to
make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us;
it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our
presence automatically liberates others. ”
Is that not the Gospel we need for ourselves and
the Gospel others need from us?
The Kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed. The small is never
unnoticed or devalued.
