My sabbatical blog 11 - keeping community together

So here we are at the end of week three of my amazing stay in these islands... which continue to surprise me, for good and bad. I love this picture, it was taken very late at night, around midnight and it speaks to me of calm and peace.

It's been a strange week emotionally. I have to admit I am still recovering from the referendum result, but now less the result but the aftermath... Reports of some vile racist attacks in parts of the country, people rejoicing they "have their country back" but not really knowing what that means, intolerance of those "different" to us, a political leadership in disarray, as Prime Ministers resign, and the opposition party is in meltdown, Scotland going more and more near to a second referendum vote, talk of a United Ireland, and some people who voted to leave the EU now saying they didn't REALLY want to leave it was just a protest vote, and now we seem to have a soon to be Brexit government stalling on when we start the process of leaving while the EU want us to go and go now. Meanwhile the financial markets are in a bit of a mess. One commentator said on Saturday "we have gone through a door and we don't know what is on the other side..."

It has been really interesting being part of the aftermath here. The hotel bar on Thursday was full of very affluent Brexit supporters talking in my view, in love, nonsense, while getting more and more squiffy on Pinot Grigio! I couldn't face them on Friday, so apart from walking round town in a daze a couple of times, I stayed in my room with my own thoughts! It's been really helpful to talk to Jane, who is one of the hospitality team here and loves to chat! She was very uncomfortable on Thursday night  She was very uncomfortable on Thursday night as they tried to hound her about her political views and politics here. She tried to tell them the staff are not meant to discuss politics or religion! She told me later Shetland (which voted remain ) aren't really interested in what is happening in London. Their local MP and MEP are voted back each time regardless of party, because they live here and care about here and do a good job for here. The referendum was barely mentioned on the news, nor in the papers afterwards, and she did share with me a lot of the hotel chain staff here are from Europe and are now deeply worried.

I guess all of this and my ongoing reflections on what builds and what breaks community have led me to ask how life changes when you have someone else you care for or have responsibility for or who are part of your world. We can all be selfish and think of our own needs. It takes time, energy and commitment to include someone else in your thoughts and care. But the fear of isolationism and intolerance out there is almost unbearable to think about, and surely even though it takes some effort, working at community and being with others will make life more whole and lovely, won't it? 

Sorry, this is quite serious this week!  I keep thinking of John Donne and those words "no man is an island" - seems some of us want to be, and to have those who might enhance the island not really be here. It has been quite powerful this weekend here in Lerwick as the Shetland to Bergen yacht race has been happening, to sit in cafes and on benches with people from Norway and Denmark and Iceland. The town changed on Saturday and felt more part of northern Europe than it did the UK. 

Very interesting. 

I had a conversation the other day about young people here. There is little work for the younger generation apart from the oil industry or fishing or perhaps inheriting a croft. Many have to leave the islands for work, and find that very difficult and get extremely homesick. Getting on and off the island is very expensive. Some parts of Shetland haven't changed at all and older Shetlanders do not do change. It will be interesting to come back again in another 20 years. 

I continue to reflect on the nature of being a faith community here. I've experienced three acts of worship this week. I got out of bed on Wednesday morning and shared morning prayer with three others at St Magnus Church - I returned for night prayer the next night as advertised, but no one showed up, which was a pity. They do seem to cancel things here without telling the outside world! There seems little concept people from outside their own little group might just turn up. How we treat people coming into church for the first time really does matter. If we are going to cancel something at least put a notice up to say it is cancelled! 

Yesterday morning, I drove about 30 mikes into the remote west of the mainland which is REALLY remote - to see what it is like to drop in cold to a small chapel in the middle of nowhere! So I arrived in Sandness.  

It took me ages to find the Methodist Church, I drove up to two other churches first!  I walked in to discover a large curtain across the middle and a lady appeared from behind the curtain, the steward, amazed I had come! The congregation was three plus me in the end, none of who lived anywhere near the place, two of them had come from Lerwick, like me. The preacher was not the most inspiring in the world and it felt a long hour. There was one of those dreadful overhead heaters on by me and it got hotter and hotter, so I was relieved when we got to the notices and she said "service in two weeks but can't remember who it is" and then "anyone else hot? Shall we turn the heater off?"! The two in front of me went to sleep, the steward opposite me kept staring out of the window, and I did find it hard to worship. I did my own thing half way through despite the preacher keeping going, but she wasn't really on our wavelength and it felt just hard going. And again, I came away, despite the four people there with me being very friendly before and afterwards asking what the church's presence really is for.

Last night, I was planned to lead the service at Westerskeld church, a lovely refurbished one room building I found the other day in preparation for my visit last night. There were eight in the congregation. Again, like the three other remote chapels I have visited so far, they were lovely, very gentle people, but unresponsive during the worship, and frankly, they looked bored. It was another very long hour and I was taking the service! I tried humour, chattiness, a visual aid for prayer, I got nothing back. I am not saying they DIDN'T get anything from the service, perhaps they did, but none of them gave me any feedback apart from thank you for coming. At the beginning I asked Betty, the steward, who was very difficult to understand with a very broad Shetland accent, if I just started or whether she welcomed folk. It was 5.55. She said "You may as well start, we are all here that's coming." Before the service when I asked how many of them there will be she bemoaned how awful it is that people "cannot be bothered to come" anymore. She also shared with me when the minister at Scalloway retires in 2017 there is talk there will be one minister for the whole of the islands. But I wonder what the minister does all day here? What's on the Church Council agenda? Again, good faithful loyal people who drove all of them to get there last night, but what was it about, and does every preacher leave feeling absolutely mentally drained?!! 

I continue to have to be adaptable up here! The only constant is that the winter coat is still in my case! Indeed, I've not worn my jacket much either! My last Sunday here has started to worry me as I am planned in the North Isles, and they keep changing my itinerary. I was told this morning to do the trip from Lerwick to Unst with two ferries and back is a three and a half hour round trip. I have decided to alter my hotel booking for my last few days and move to Unst for my last four days here. I left the reception in the hotel here investigating possibilities for me up there. That will make life much easier no matter what time they decide to hold their services!! 

The hotel I am in for a month are beginning to chat to me a lot now. I feel like the Major on Fawlty Towers! I shared this morning I am writing a book about community and am reflecting on a lot of stuff about how we live, work and do God together. It's rather nice to be asked on a Monday how Sunday went! Jane this morning said she was telling her husband about this minister who is in who is er hum,.. "nice and gentle and very reserved." Then she started telling me about how she is reserved and cannot do confrontation and there was a major row amongst the staff last week and she threatened to hand in her notice and her manager told her she was not the guilty party and should not back down and she was not going anywhere because she is so good with the guests...! Community breaks down anywhere! Quite why she thought she would tell me this Lord along knows...   

 As I said, you have to be adaptable here all the time! 

My sabbatical blog 10 - Unpredictable community!!!

I am learning that life here in the Shetland Islands after two weeks here is ever unpredictable! I rushed out of the hotel on Saturday night about 11pm with my camera to capture the simmer dim as they call it here. Unbelievable pink skies and calm on the water. Two weeks in the winter coat is still in the case! 

I am also learning every day that things that are advertised to happen may not necessarily happen or can be changed. It is very laid back here!! My service on July 3rd was an evening and is now a morning, and my morning service on July 10th is now an afternoon and my afternoon service is now an evening! Yesterday afternoon I looked at the Circuit plan and took a drive out to a remote chapel at Gruting, where it told me there was a 3pm service.

The chapel took some finding!! I arrived at 2.55pm and no one was there. Around me were some sheep and a goat but no people. The chapel was locked, no sign of any service happening. I hung around for about 20 minutes until I decided they had obviously decided to cancel the service with no expectation this mad visiting minister might drive 20 miles to be with them! I had a fun time getting away as Mr Goat and my sheep friends found my being there very interesting and came to say hello!!

I managed on the way back from my not happening service to find a chapel I preached in here 20 years ago - Culswick Methodist Chapel is the smallest and most remote chapel here. There is absolutely nothing round it at all. It is in a field which you get to up a stone track. I was pleased to see the church was open. I checked when it last had a service - 5th June - the money from the offertory that Sunday was still in the plate on the communion table. I was glad to be able to sit in the quietness of a very remote place for a while and feel its peace. I have questions though what churches like Gruting and Culswick are for - holding occasional services, no one living near them, cancelling them when the three or four folk who come can't come. Are they just part of history or are they still signposts to the presence of God? What makes the tiny numbers who go there still go there and where do they come from? I would imagine those who come come through some family connection and want to keep "their chapel" open. I hope to try Gruting another Sunday afternoon to see what dropping in feels like. I may next time ring the steward to check the service is on!!

It was really good yesterday to lead worship in a bigger church with folk sharing the worship leading with me. Adam Clarke Memorial Church has a congregation of around 60 - including visitors yesterday from Ghana, Swansea, the Wirral and Norway! They were a very happy friendly bunch who made me very welcome. There was a superb worship band who led part of the service for us and we used a hymn from Singing the Faith they had learnt for me. Am getting my head round four different hymn books here! The church's main mission it seems to me is to tourists. Through the week, some huge liners come to the port for the day full of tourists who come off the liner in a little boat and then are put on shuttle buses to come to the town and wander around with maps. The church opens every time there is a large ship or holiday cruise in town. We are told in the headlines on the local radio which ship is coming and where it is from. Apparently the other night, the Danish royal yacht was here before setting off to the Faroe Islands! Lerwick Methodist Church seems to me to be a very close fellowship and fun to be part of. The Chair of the District retires next week and I've been invited to his farewell meal and service. The Chair of the Scotland District will look after Shetland from September to save Methodism money as the Chair has to go to meetings off the island and it costs a fortune to keep going away. The manager of the hotel I am staying in told me Nicola Sturgeon was staying the other week and there was a huge lobby to her to get North Link Ferries to reduce their prices. 

From September there will be a Superintendent Minister on Shetland. 

      

I am also enjoying still discovering other bits of community outside church and what makes life tick here... There was a huge midsummer carnival on Saturday with floats surrounded by men dressed as vikings shouting a lot. Last night I was glad to be at another fiddler's concert - a really talented group who play regularly at the Edinburgh Military Tattoo. 

The group was called Hjaltibonhoga - translated as "Shetland - my spiritual home."

I am very much seeing that deep spirituality here in remote places, in tiny chapels, in supportive and close community as people enjoy being here. It's interesting to read about the referendum up here. There are some Brexit posters largely about protecting our fish - but mostly the local press is going for remain - largely because Shetland does not really see itself as part of Scotland, but more a part of Europe. Thursday will be interesting!

It's been another good week. Three to go... Am so chilled out and relaxed - returning to a busy diary might be a bit of a challenge!!!   

           

       

        

My sabbatical blog 9: Slow lovely quality of community...

The beginning of my second week here and I've discovered the library! I've just been into the church next door where I am leading worship on Sunday to give in my readings and check my hymn numbers. Church is open today again as another huge liner is here - this time from Norway. I've only been here a week and am so relaxed and chilled out I am wondering how long it will take me to adapt to Circuit life back home again. I am sure the lovely folk down there are storing up stuff for me. I actually got some texts and messages from people attending my Circuit Meeting last night. The comments were sent in fun, but I was shocked how unsettled they made me. My life (apart from contacting people I chose to be in relationship with away from here) is here for another month and Hastings and stuff hadn't entered my brain until last night.

I continue to be deeply moved by the quality of life and community here. Shetland has not apparently had a week of weather like this for years. It is much windier today and very bracing but the sun is still shining and the sky is blue. It's interesting to eavesdrop on conversations in the hotel dining room from people who have never been here before. A very posh couple arrived on the boat yesterday. He told his wife he had put the place they wanted to go to, the most southerly point of the mainland, Sumburgh Head in the sat nav so they wouldn't get lost. I don't think he quite got there is one major road north to south! It reminded me of that great Father Ted line of Craggy Island in a storm: "they have taken the road in!"

I sat on this glorious beach on Monday until I started to burn. For a time there was just me on it, and I used the space to thank God for so much at the moment. When we find a spot like this there is a peace beyond all understanding. I love this picture of a boat on a sea that was like a lake, the stillness of space that calms our souls and lifts our spirits. I will return to this theme on Sunday in my worship in Lerwick, next door to where I am writing this as the readings are about Elijah having a meltdown in a cave and Jesus freeing Legion from mental distress. I didn't come here in a state, I was tired and ready for this wonderful gift but as I keep writing, it has given me far far more than I could ever hope for. The reading on Sunday ends with Jesus saying to Legion "go home and tell people what the Lord has done." I hope to do that with people but that is not yet apart to those of you reading these thoughts. I get to choose my favourite hymn on Sunday and it seems right to choose it in this peaceful place: which includes this verse:
"Drop thy still dews of quietness til all our strivings cease,
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess, the beauty of thy peace."
The greatest verse of any hymn ever written!




People seem to really enjoy living here and there is a depth of community together. On Monday night I had a lovely evening out at something called Shetland Showcase, a series of concerts through the summer in the local community centre. The first half each week gives children "the bairns" performing experience as they learn the fiddle together; the second half each week is a quality music act - this week the Shetland Fiddlers Society. It was really infectious fun stuff that left you smiling. I was very interested in the stories they shared about each piece they performed. All were written in a distinct community here and some on different islands. Each community would have had its own fiddle group and dancing evenings. You didn't mix with other communities as the only way to get there would be by boat. Communities here often through adversity support one another and it is very attractive....





               

My sabbatical blog 8 - Overwhelmed by community

To those of you who don't follow me on Facebook welcome to the sunny blue skies and very warm Shetland Islands. I bought a winter coat in St Albans before I left Mums - it's still in the case! I write this on the warmest day of the year here so far. 

I have only been here seven days and have a whole month to go but am already very comfortable here with some lovely gracious people who keep thanking me for coming to help them and by the very slow pace of life. I find myself at moments getting very overwhelmed - it is a huge thing for me to be here, I've waited a long time for these weeks and already my visit here has surpassed my expectations. I never dreamt I would need sun cream!!! 

Why is life sometimes overwhelming when you connect with things or people that remind you of a bigger picture and that suddenly you matter? I got the goosebumps inside me seeing the magnificence of God in nature here again as I saw my first vista leaving Lerwick for an explore. It's a good job that there are plenty of lay-bys to view the pretty bits as you drive round. I keep saying out loud "oh wow!" as I see a new sight or one I remember from 20 years ago. The other "oh wow" thing here is it doesn't get dark at this time of year. It isn't easy to sleep and you wake up not knowing what time it is. I sat outside the other night at gone midnight reading my book. 

The Methodist Church here have made me very welcome. It was good to have lunch last Wednesday with Jeremy Dare, the Chair of District here. He retires at the end of the month and they will miss him. He is retiring to Yell so staying around as he loves it here though will hide for a bit to enable his successor to settle. I have been given six services to take over the five Sundays I am here, all will be very different. In the weeks ahead I will write about them here. One Sunday involves taking two ferries and another has me with no organist but someone on the recorder and I am rediscovering the joy of the 1933 Methodist Hymn Book!

On Sunday I had an overwhelming time leading worship in the little chapel at Whiteness. I led a holiday club in the church when I was last here - a glorious setting. 11 ladies were there on Sunday - mostly on the back pew! I said to the steward before the service how many will there be - she said "there are those that are here, and those that are here but not here." I asked her if she was going to welcome me. She said "no - they all know you've come!" I had forgotten how exhausting leading every bit of the service yourself is. I haven't read the notices out or done my own readings for years! I had also forgotten that you get very little response during worship. One lady didn't sing a note of any hymn and in the prayers when I said "Lord in your mercy" there was no "hear our prayer"  back! They didn't hang around afterwards - shook my hand at the door and said thank you but there was no fellowship time - all of them have driven there. Two of them when I was getting my books afterwards told me it had been  refreshing and a different angle and beautifully delivered. I wondered what the morning did to them. Clearly coming to the chapel mattered to them as part of their story and way of life but it cannot be there for ever. I found myself preaching without referring to my notes and being much more pastoral and less mission orientated in my message. What is the mission of a remote place like Whiteness? I preached on finding God loves you wherever you are and it being a surprise sometimes how that love is expressed. I am in these weeks in even more remote places so will continue to reflect on the purpose of presence here.

I had another overwhelming time returning on Friday to Walls where I was on placement while last here. I walked round the harbour and there was no one about. I went into the chapel which has a community cafe every Friday all through the year. The place was packed so clearly the whole community was on there- all ages, elderly folk, mums collecting children from the nursery, people out walking on holiday. The food was all homemade and cheap - the menu on the table said - to enable everyone to come and share. The place was buzzing. Community eating together especially in village halls on Sunday afternoons for teas is a huge thing here bringing isolated communities together. It was lovely to spend an hour with these folk - I learnt a soft roll is a local softie and I discovered what restit soup is!!

Before I came up here I had a lovely Sunday. On the Sunday morning I was in London and went to Marylebone Parish Church which was a wonderful hour and a half of spine chilling worship in a church with a strong choral tradition. The Gloria lasted ten minutes and I found myself being lifted up spiritually in it. The silence after it was very powerful. Sometimes our worship is too wordy, too rushed and no space to reflect on the message we have either just heard or read or sung or have heard sung. Stanley Hauerwas in one of his books suggests worship is about reminding ourselves that God is God and we are not, first - and after we have remembered that only, we celebrate this God is bothered with us and we can come to him. The mass was done to a piece of music by Weber. The service sheet helpfully gave me information on the music being used. He wrote "the singers are Italians, so never too secure, therefore everything should be as singable as possible: the alto is a dog!" Can't imagine lovely Stephen Page in the choir I sing in back home write that in notes of his compositions! The preacher was excellent - he reminded us in a deeply honest sermon that sometimes new life springs up and at first there is confusion and fear because we are not expecting it and we don't deserve it and it feels audacious! Not been preached to with a message for me and where I was that Sunday for a very long time. So, I am glad I walked along the Euston and Marylebone Road to encounter a special place.

That same afternoon I got on a train and headed for Peterborough (as you do) and a huge few hours which I will not go into here. But we did evensong at Peterborough Cathedral which was just overwhelming again. Apparently I said "wow" out loud as we entered the building. Sitting in the choir stalls I was aware again of the vastness of God and this need in me which I have found in these weeks to immerse myself in God far more. If you do this more there is a breathing in and a deep peace beyond words - the current in word is mindfulness - and when you are less frazzled and less church busy you have time to see what blessings are there and you might find new ones! Please readers of this back home in my CIrcuit remind me I wrote this in September!!! Again in this service sung and said holy place for centuries we got the rawness of the Psalter: Psalm 44: in God we boast all the day long and praise thy name for ever. Fab stuff. And done together as I have written before. Was a real privilege  and also to be given a private tour afterwards including to Catherine of Aragon under the floor!

So one week in - was it worth a journey to London, a 8am train from Kings Cross to Edinburgh, another train to Aberdeen, which was delayed as it needed oil (!) a 12 and a half hour boat trip up and down a bit as the sea was rough - amazingly though a few hours after getting here the skies cleared and have been blue or in the wee small hours at 3am pink and sometimes orange. Was it worth it? While I feel far away from people (relief the mobile signal works) you bet it was. This is proving to be one of the most fulfilling times of my life... And there is still a month to go.

My sabbatical blog 7: Needing Community

I have spent this last week at my Mum's - the longest I have stayed with her in 22 years!

Last Sunday I was privileged to lead two acts of worship at High Street Methodist Church in Harpenden, one of the largest Methodist churches in the Connexion. I wanted to see how a large church is a community. High Street when I was on the Circuit staff as a lay worker from 1991 to 1994 was very high, largely down to the minister then who used to make us stand for the Gospel! In recent times there was a parallel service held at the same time - a contemporary service with a worship band in a fully refurbished hall and a traditional service with a robed choir and an anthem in the church.The  current minister, as the contemporary service has outgrown the hall has altered things so they now have a contrmporary service at 9.15 then coffee then a traditional service at 12 in the same space with coffee in the middle. It is not a model I am familiar with, so I was glad to play with it and see how it felt. 

The 9.15 service was led by a very competent worship leader and an excellent band. I preached and presided, with no written liturgy over a very informal communion with stations, which worked well. I knew none of the songs and wondered whether they were really congregational but got swept away with then as the band led them though. The band had an excellent soloist and violinist. I enjoyed the worship - it was much less noisy and less out of my comfort zone than I expected. I knew very few of the congregation - it was younger. 

With the communion we finished at 10.30 and after greeting people I grabbed a coffee in the great Wesley's coffee shop. I think I had one conversation then found the steward for the morning tell me it was 10.55 and five minutes to the next service! I went to the vestry and put my robes on as this was a more formal service and prayed with a choir - a very large robed choir - in the choir vestry before processing in. I used to get very nervous preaching at High Street - a rare treat for those of us who came from the villages!! The procession in was the worst bit! The second service went well - an older  - in the main - congregation: my nursery school teacher was there for goodness sake!! I did a sheet with written responses which was appreciated and preached from the pulpit which was appreciated and took the opportunity to try some big hymns. The choir had learnt the set tune to Best of all is God is with us and I taught them the lovely Iona hymn the love of God comes close. We ended with the seven verse wonder of Wesleyan theology : let earth and heaven agree. I had a good time but admitted mid way though the second service I was shattered! I am not sure whether the model got its best out of me. I was apparently seven and a half minutes longer sermon wise in service number 2!

I wanted to discover whether with diverse needs you keep a large church together. There seemed to me two very distinct congregations. How do you hold all the needs of people in worship together? Or don't you? And if there are two distinct congregations how do all views and inputs contribute to the life of the church? What's membership of the Church council like? A friend told me she hasn't seen people who go to the second service for ages as for family reasons she goes to the first one. I had a good time and everyone was very gracious - I went into church on Tuesday and people were talking about my services and when could I come again. I went away knowing I'm not called to minister to a large church though !! 

High Street though got me thinking this week about having our needs met in worship. I still have the Anglican evensong and evening prayer bug. I've not had the easiest week but in other ways something has happened this week which has changed so much for the better (!!!!) How do we bring our needs and all of life into worship? I've done four evening services this week at 5pm - one at the Parish Church in Harpenden with three of us there and one choral evensong and two evening prayers at St Albans Abbey.

The Psalter this week has invited us to bring our deepest needs even unhealthy thoughts into worship. On Monday a glorious choir from the royal school of church music sang a fabulous setting of Psalm 136 : his glory endures for ever! Og, the king of Basan has born smited! See Numbers 21! Then last night, again after a difficult day I heard Psalm 141: a wish for enemies to fall into their nets as we avoid their dainties and pass by in safety. I sat there thinking how important it is to bring what you need into worship, perhaps different styles of worship are the way forward. Perhaps it doesn't matter if one church has different parts which never meet. As long as all the parts are represented in its governance - huge issues here - my Messy Church families are as much a part of church as those who come to traditional worship on a Sunday morning but do not yet make any major policy decisions as to our future. Perhaps now it doesn't how we approach God to meet our needs as long as we do it. 

The other area re community that has hit me this week has been the need to have others with us to share life with. I have found in this journey so far the amazing power of praying honest prayers. Lets pray together the enemy will be got!! When you go to evensong or evening prayer it's done with strangers usually! I've also found revisiting important places that are part of me important. I have felt close to my Dad this week. Dad died at 50 in 1985: I am 50 next birthday. I went to Kimpton on Thursday where my Dads side of the family came from and where, in the chapel, now sadly shut, I led my first solo act of worship in 1987. We had some lovely Circuit times on the Green. It was powerful to return. Those special places remain part of you and make you who you are.

Also this week I have been blessed and surprised that my needs are met and my self worth built up as I trust and open up. We are meant to be in community - whether as a faith group or just with someone  who loves us! 

Tomorrow I am off to evensong at the cathedral in Peterborough, then I need to get my head round five weeks and a few days in Shetland. Next Sunday at the Methodist Church in Whiteness. Last there at the end of a holiday club I led 20 years ago!