Reflections from a hospital bed

Passage for reflection: 1 Corinthians 12: 12 - 27

“When one part of the body suffers, we all suffer, when one part of the body rejoices, we all rejoice.”

Most of you will know by now I got costochrondritis from nowhere the other week, and amazing pain around my sternum. I was in A and E two days running and was sent home with pills and it was getting better. About six weeks to be pain free they said, but I could get on, indeed last Sunday I took three services and processed round the cathedral quite happily.

Alas, on Tuesday it was discovered said pills should not have been prescribed and I was taken back to hospital and they found two stomach ulcers and that I’d been bleeding internally from them. I was immediately taken off said pills! Nearly five days later, I’m still in hospital, the ulcers are healing and the bleeding has stopped but because they can’t yet find a pill that will help the pain and not have amazing side effects, I’m stuck. They wanted to send me home on tramadol. If you want me vacant, confused and wobbly, I’ll come home on tramadol! 

I am very much in tune tonight with Paul’s verse in his first letter to the Corinthian Church. Remember he wrote to that community because it was fractious. He wanted to stress the mutuality of all the people in that place and so he used the body to explain his point. 

It isn't about every part of the body doing the same thing but every part of the body contributing to the same purpose. In a symphony, everyone plays different instruments, but they are all playing the same piece.

How one part feels affects all of the other parts. A stabbing pain just now which caused me to press the bell left the whole of me feeling rubbish, woozy and hot. The nurse has just looked at me and said “ is it the pain?” Er, yes. You’ve taken me off the pill which was helping because it had too ridiculous side effects and now you’ve given me another which isn’t doing anything. So one part suffers and all of me suffers! 

Living in community isn’t easy. It was Sartre, stuck in a lift who concluded hell is other people! I’ve not been on a hospital ward for any length before. You are suddenly in community with five other men you’ve never met and are unlikely to ever meet again, although the nice man opposite me was lovely and he has a pub in Wetherby we might visit. Sadly the others on my bit of the ward all had major problems, and they liked to get out of bed in the night often in the nude and pull their feeding tubes out. Last night they didn’t stop, and it was desperate. I apparently said out loud at 4am with no sleep “oh for God’s sake!” We were all suffering. This morning I was moved to a quieter bit of the ward to sleep! Sometimes the action of a few can affect the whole. 

We’ve seen community at its best though in recent days. The collective national mourning for the Queen has brought the nation together. The funeral on Monday was deeply moving as was the sense we were sharing in a piece of history together. We saw collective rejoicing at the jubilee. There are times when this country comes together brilliantly but there are also times we are seriously divided. The announcements from the new Truss government about tax cuts will help some but not others as the cost of living rises. It is good the churches are reminding the Prime Minister she must remember the most vulnerable. I am meeting people who are suffering locally. It is good our churches and other agencies are trying to respond to a situation of want that shouldn’t be happening. Society is weakened when one bit of it can’t function rather like when one part of our body hurts. 

It’s been fascinating watching doctors and nurses and others here in Harrogate hospital work together in really difficult conditions. Paul is saying to today’s Church work together, support each other, remember those who are suffering and have a party when there is something to celebrate. Community at its best supports us when we need it. It’s easier to walk by on the other side but that isn’t Church nor is it Christianity. I’m very aware while I’m out of action, others will be looking after things. I hope there are people taking my services tomorrow! I found these words of Nadia Bolz-Weber helpful as I read them earlier:

“This ended up being one of my more difficult weeks in recent memory and I found myself having no choice but to rely on the prayers and faith and wisdom and compassion of those brothers and sisters in Christ whom God has put in my life – because frankly I was tapped out.  Which is hard because I’d so rather have all the gifts myself and not have to rely on others. But when it feels like a failure on my part that I don’t have the faith or compassion or prayer life or wisdom that I need, I just have to remember that the only real failure is when I fail to recognize that I do actually have all the faith and compassion and prayer and wisdom I need –  it’s just that someone else in my life is holding it for me.”

A paragraph worth reading again. We need each other. Without others, my wife, people who’ve sent me messages, the Chair of the District who turned up here this morning, the amazing staff here - I would be in a worse state than I am. I’ve needed others because I haven’t been able to do everything myself - which is no bad lesson for all of us to learn. Nor for our world where we just don’t get working together and relying on each other, and we let others remain in pain because it’s too hard or time consuming to help because we have so much to do it’s easier to just pretend all is well or tell them the pain isn’t really that bad or we numb it rather than fix it. Commitment to community where all flourish will cost us - but it’s our call and we need to be better at it.

“When one part of the body suffers, we all suffer, when one part of the body rejoices, we all rejoice.” 

God beyond borders we bless you for strange places and different dreams, for the demands and diversity of a wider world, for the distance that lets us look back and re-evaluate, for new ground where the broken stems can take root, grow and blossom.

We bless you for the friendship of strangers, the richness of other cultures and the painful gift of freedom. 

Blessed are you, God beyond borders.

But if we have overlooked the exiles in our midst, heightened their exclusion by our indifference, given our permission for a climate of fear and tolerated a culture of violence, have mercy on us, God who takes side with justice, confront our prejudice, stretch our narrowness,  sift out our laws and our lives with the penetrating insight of your spirit until generosity is our only measure.

Kathy Galloway

Living through history

It isn’t often we live through events which will be remembered in history which will be spoken of long after we have left this earth.

Prior to the passing of Queen Elizabeth II I guess I had lived through two such events. The first was the death of Diana, Princess of Wales in 1997, and the second was 9/11 in 2001. Both events made us stop and think deeply about what had happened and now we might react to shattering news that would change life forever. 

The passing of Queen Elizabeth II has seen us share in a sense of communal loss. We’ve worshipped together, cried together, shared stories together, watched pageantry together and we’ve had to stop and take in that someone who has always been there in our lives has now slipped into history. 

I think I will remember several things observing the transition of constitutional monarchy and how we’ve reacted to a Queen dying we never wanted to go. 

First, the importance of worship, prayer and silence at a time of grief.

 After the Queen passed away I went into the cathedral and lit a candle and said a prayer with someone who was in tears. We just stood together, stunned we were in unchartered waters. I remember e mailing my Anglican colleague in Boroughbridge saying “help, have you got any prayers?”

 It was really good to return to the cathedral later that evening for a hastily arranged compline. I gathered the Circuit together on the Sunday after the Queen’s passing and over seventy of us shared a quiet service of reflection, then a week after her passing I shared in a service in the Anglican Church in Boroughbridge which was extremely powerful in its simplicity. We lit candles as a violinist played. It was good a lot of younger people were there. Then on the night before her funeral, after another Circuit Service we shared a minutes silence together and then left the church in silence. That was extremely powerful.

Then the funeral itself, remember, was a Christian act of worship. I hadn’t realised we would share in two parts of it, one in Westminster Abbey and one in Windsor. The liturgy was comfortably ancient. I was reminded as I watched the two services the promises of God are timeless and eternal. As we’ve worshipped and prayed in these days, we’ve remembered a sovereign who put worship and prayer first. As the Archbishop of Canterbury reminded us she first prayed silently at the high altar in the Abbey prior to her coronation putting service to God before service to others.

Then secondly I think the events around the passing of the Queen have brought death into the public arena. Maybe we have domesticated death in the modern age. The Victorians took it more seriously with black clothes and periods of mourning maybe. I’ve not lived through a time of national mourning before. It’s been really interesting having people stop and want to talk about what they have been feeling. It’s happened to me in coffee shops and even in men’s loos! A man said to me “I’m not religious but this has really got to me.” We’ve learnt again that death is part of life. Yes, we believe in resurrection and eternal life, but first we have to go through death. 

The funeral marches played as the late Queen was processed through the streets were sombre but we needed them to be. Death is real. We have to face it. The good news comes but first we have to remember we are dust and to dust we shall return — and that’s hard. And it’s okay and good to admit that. As the late Queen write to President George W Bush after 9/11 “grief is the price we pay for love.” 

Then finally living through these days we’ve been part of history. We will never see a long reign like Queen Elizabeth’s again.

I found the process of accession really interesting. The new King permitted previously private things to be opened up for us to share them. It was good on the Sunday after the Queen’s passing to stand on the market square and listen to words proclaiming the new King from the balcony of the town hall. It was hard to sing “God save our gracious King” for the first time. 

Then on the day before the Queen’s funeral, I was glad to represent the Methodist Church at a service in the cathedral. I was really conscious we were mourning and marking change. And I guess it hit me most when we saw her coffin being lowered into the vault at Windsor and the wand of office broken in two, signifying the second Elizabethan Age was at an end.

One of the news reporters on the night of the funeral suggested we are mourning not just a person but an ideal. Queen Elizabeth taught us the joy of service, duty and dignity. She brought this country together - think about the Platinum Jubilee a few months ago and strangers becoming friends waiting for hours to see her lying in state. 

I pray in changing times, we might hold on to the faith our late Queen lived by, we might keep supporting each other and we might pray for King Charles III as he adapts to a new life. On the day after her death, he said hers was a life well lived. If we show in our lives just a little of what she lived her life by, her reign will have not been in vain. 

Remembering Queen Elizabeth - part two

There are times on life’s journey that we just have to stop where we are and try and take in what is going on around us. I expected this Sunday to witter on for a bit about my two days of fun and games going in and out of Harrogate hospital then in and out again giving you anecdotes from an A and E cubicle. I expected this Sunday to reflect on a change of Prime Minister and to reflect on the cost of living crisis and to commend her government to God seeking good leadership and a new start. 

 

Then came Thursday…

 

There are times on life’s journey we know exactly where we were when we heard news and we just stopped stunned. Some will still remember where they were when Neville Chamberlain told the nation we were at war again, some will still remember where they were when Kennedy was shot, or Margaret Thatcher resigned or when Diana, Princess of Wales died in that Paris tunnel or 9/11 happened. You may think of other life changing moments that just take time to comprehend. 

 

We watched the television on Thursday afternoon as we were told the Queen was under medical supervision and news programmes filled hours commenting on Balmoral gates and what did “she is comfortable” mean. 

I was getting ready to go and visit a bereaved family when Lis told me “she has died.” I walked via the cathedral. As I approached the cathedral I got the message that dear Elisabeth Hogerzeil from our Circuit had passed away peacefully. I went into the cathedral which was open and lit a candle. A lady was there very upset. 

She saw I might be clergy, and she said “say a prayer” and we cried together, stunned by a sudden change in life, what we’d always known was suddenly no more. 

 

When someone who has always been there dies, there is a profound shock. All of a sudden the anchors that hold life steady move and a new secure point is needed. It’s a moment to make the strongest wobble. That is the same for a nation as it is for families. We now enter a new epoch, one which brings us into unfamiliar territory. Anglican clergy doing 8am communion this morning from the Book of Common Prayer were praying they would be alert and read the amended text prepared the night before. There’s a prayer which has said for the last seventy years “bless Elizabeth our Queen and bless all those who exercise authority under her.” There was a picture last night of Elizabeth crossed out and Charles put in and Queen crossed out and King put in and her crossed out and him put in and it’s all a bit strange because most of us have never seen this change before. We need time to adjust. 

 

I want us to celebrate what we have lost but will remember for ever and then I want us to think about how we take what we have treasured in our late monarch into life as we go on. Queen Elizabeth II was a devout Christian and was not afraid to commend her Saviour to her people. She saw Jesus as an example to be followed, as a servant, an embodiment of humility and just leadership, one to be looked up to with sound ethical ideals to be followed and lived out. In 2002 at Christmas, the Queen said this:

 “I know just how much I rely on my faith to guide me through the good times and the bad. Each day is a new beginning. I know that the only way to live my life is to try to do what is right, to take the long view, to give of my best in all that the day brings, and to put my trust in God.”

 

In 1986, her Christmas message reminded us that Jesus’ life began in humble surroundings, and that ‘you don’t have to be rich or powerful in order to change things for the better, and each of us can make our own contribution’.  And at the turn of the millennium, she simply remarked that:

Many will have been inspired by Jesus’ simple but powerful teaching: love God and love they neighbour as thyself – treat others as you would like them to treat you. Jesus’ great emphasis was to give spirituality a practical purpose…

And remember these words she spoke in 1947:

I declare before you all that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong.
 
But I shall not have strength to carry out this resolution alone unless you join in it with me, as I now invite you to do: I know that your support will be unfailingly given. God help me to make good my vow, and God bless all of you who are willing to share in it."

Her life, and reign, have proved to be long and she has steadfastly and determinedly kept her promise; her vow and dedication. She has served and kept on serving. She has truly been a Servant Queen.

She has herself made clear time and again that she fulfils this service as her calling under God. She serves because of her love for Jesus Christ, and for the nation and commonwealth whom she has been called to serve.

And of course we are stunned that has come to an end. Why? Well maybe two politicians speaking over these days have it right… our Prime Minister said in the Commons:  “Her legacy will endure through the countless people she met, the global history she witnessed, and the lives that she touched.

She was loved and admired by people across the United Kingdom and across the world.

One of the reasons for that affection was her sheer humanity. She re-invented the monarchy for the modern age. She was a champion of freedom and democracy around the world. She was dignified but not distant. She was willing to have fun, whether on a mission with 007 or having tea with Paddington Bear. She brought the monarchy into people’s lives and into people’s homes.”

And Sir Keir Starmer said similar: “For seventy years, Elizabeth II stood as the head of our country.   But in spirit, she stood amongst us.”

 

I believe we are mourning stability, example, and we are all a bit unsure now. Because while she was 96, we didn’t want to face not having her on the throne. When someone you admire isn’t sharing with you on life’s journey any more then you’re a bit wobbly. The goalposts have moved and the waters are uncharted, so you stand and stare in disbelief. 

 

Which brings me to the other Elisabeth. To not have Elisabeth Hogerzeil about will be hard. She has been a wise counsellor to many people for many years, a deeply caring Christian, an effective preacher of the Gospel, a lady who knew her Bible and who believed in the power of prayer and a lady who cared for others above herself. I had many conversations with her about God. The 11am Thursday prayer times she led were spot on, very deep and rooted in God’s love which she was so sure about. I saw her in hospital last Sunday. She preached to me, asked about everyone and we shared a prayer together. I commended her into God’s care and while we miss her especially in this church, she entered into God’s rest peacefully and confidently. Her last message to the Circuit were those words of Mother Julian of Norwich: “ all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” Like there is a Queen shaped hole, there is an Elisabeth shaped hole and it’s really hard.

 

But there is a but… Paul has it right in his letter to the Romans. In uncertainty and stunned disbelief, there is nothing that will separate us from the love of Christ, not even death. And Jesus has it right in his teaching giving us the Beatitudes. The key to life in all its fullness is radical discipleship, a different way. A way shown to us by the Queen and many Christian souls who have passed this way whose names live for evermore. 

 

Now we pray for King Charles III and his family that in his words he         “ shall endeavour to serve us with loyalty, respect, and love.” And remembering the Queen and other saints known only to us we pledge ourselves to be just a tiny bit of their example to make a difference in the world. 

 

Stunned silence, yes, there is need for time to mourn, that’s why I wanted us to gather today, but when we’re ready we go forward together striving to bring the Kingdom nearer beginning where we are called to be. As the King said on Friday night we say to Elizabeth our Queen, and all those who’ve lived with us “May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. “ Life’s work well done.

Remembering Queen Elizabeth II - part one

What to say this weekend? I was sitting in a cafe in Thirsk this afternoon with two Saturday newspapers trying to get inspiration. I have my ordinary services tomorrow morning and afternoon then I’ve put in a special evening service to remember the Queen as it felt wrong we were doing nothing. 

A rainbow appeared over Windsor Castle late on Thursday afternoon, Queen Elizabeth’s favourite home.     A double rainbow also appeared over Buckingham Palace.   It seems appropriate somehow.   Perhaps the heavens themselves wanted to mark the passing of this amazing woman.  Her public announcements showed she had a genuine faith in Jesus.

 

“Jesus Christ lived obscurely for most of his life, and never travelled far.   He was maligned and rejected by many, though he had done no wrong.   And yet, billions of people now follow his teaching and find in him the guiding light for their lives.  I am one of them because Christ’s example helps me see the value of doing small things with great love”   

Queen Elizabeth II - 2016 Christmas Speech

 

There is no doubt that Queen Elizabeth lived an extraordinary life.   It was of course one marked by huge privilege.   She came to the throne by an accident of birth, and the abdication of her uncle and untimely death of her father.   

She was wealthy and privileged.   But by those who met her she was universally described to be a humble, charming, engaging human being – both by world leaders and ordinary people alike.   It was her sense of being a chosen vessel of God to serve the nations of this world that probably led to that humility and life long sense of duty.  As Sir Keir Starmer said on Thursday: “ For seventy years, Elizabeth II stood as the head of our country.   But in spirit, she stood amongst us.”

She was not just our Queen but also the head of the Commonwealth, and loved all over the world.  It feels strange not to have her here. But I have to say the new King has begun well and spoke last night with warmth and sincerity. 

 

Queen Elizabeth has brought stability to our sense of nationhood.  She has brought continuity over all these decades, and has given confidential advice to fifteen prime ministers from Winston Churchill to Liz Truss (who she appointed just 48 hours before she died).   She has been our servant and God’s and most of all has shown us Christ. Her sermon on Christmas afternoon will be missed! 

 

The life of Queen Elizabeth is now in the care of God who is her source and goal and final destination. As the King said last night we say to Elizabeth our Queen, “May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. “ Life’s work well done.