Funny old day

I am not sure why people get so hung up about New Year's Eve. Some people find it a very depressing day especially if they are on their own and everyone else seems to be going to a party. Having just returned from our local Sainsbury's the signs are the parties will be many in Hastings, the amount of alcohol in the trolleys around me. Other people will stand out to wait for midnight in the wind and the rain. 

I guess the turn of the year moves us to think about our lives and what has happened to us in the past and what on earth is going to happen in the future. If the year that is about to end has been bad, we want it gone, and we want the New Year to be better. The turn of the year though doesn't magically make everything okay though. 

But maybe it is good to have times in the human experience that make us stop and think and contemplate deeper things. I see a spiritual director every six weeks or so, and at our last meeting, she got me to think about where God was in every twist and turn of 2013. I found it a powerful exercise. Was God present when I struggled? Did I see God in times of great joy and hopefulness? 

We trace the hand of God through our experience and we need to be open enough to see God in future possibility. This coming year will be different for me - some developments beyond my control happened a month or so ago - and the path ahead might be a bit challenging, but I will start the journey with companions on the way, encouraging, supporting, laughing and crying, pondering with me what we do when we haven't a clue what to do! Most of all, going forward we need to be aware that God doesn't stick to a script and may well do things we are not ready for. We step out in faith. I like what Henri Nouwen says in "Bread for the Journey": "  Each day holds a surprise, but only if we expect it can we see, hear or feel it when it comes to us.” If we start thinking we will be overwhelmed by problems, we will be overwhelmed.    

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote a letter to a young boy at New Year which ends these ponderings well: "Godspeed. Good health in this New Year, and above all don't forget the few things in life that are really important and that make life worth living." 

Tonight people will see in 2014 in a variety of ways. Some will be out in the cold; others will be at a party, some may be in church; some will go to bed and ignore it; some may sit and reflect in quietness. I will have a glass or two, with a cat on my lap, and make do with television delights - Challenge are showing first episodes of classics - 9pm is Treasure Hunt! My Dad and I used to love Treasure Hunt. Back to the chopper, Anneka! Then it is Gary Barlow live from Methodist Central Hall, Westminster. REALLY!

Whatever, the opportunity for reflection and refocus is a valuable one.

Angels from the realms of glory

I don’t know what you picture when you read of or sing about angels in the Christmas narrative. Angels announce that God is with us, the heart of the matter and they promise that God will be with us in the midst of life. Jane Williams, the former Archbishop of Canterbury’s wife, wrote a wonderful book on angels some years ago. She suggests that angels come to the aid of the people when they are tempted to give up believing in God. She says for example when Israel was captive in a foreign land, and there was a pressure to conform and to deny God, the angels are there as a sign that God does still exist even in a foreign land, that God was everywhere and could be worshipped under all circumstances.

Then she says this “In the Christmas story the angels are particularly noticeable around the time of Jesus’ birth. God is doing something so unlikely in choosing to be born as a human baby, that the people directly involved need all the help they can get to see that is indeed what is going on.” Angels offer a different way and a reassurance when things are a bit confusing and difficult – hence “do not be afraid.” They give us a sign of a new age coming.

Perhaps in our prayers in these few days we should thank God for those angels who come to you to show us we are never alone.

I love carol singing, but I haven’t enjoyed the weather this year. On Monday, some of us went out in the pitch black in Pett. It tipped down, the carol sheets disintegrated, people kept saying “watch out for that puddle” – I said, “too late, I’m in the puddle!” On Wednesday, we went out round the streets in Hastings, again the water went down our necks, we got drenched, the alcohol in the mulled wine we were given by some kind people en route was diluted by rain going in the cup. This morning, in Rye, there we were with the Salvation Army Band as Churches Together, under cover of a shop front but still the driving wind and rain got us. At least it was dry inside ASDA with the choir from my Calvert church this afternoon! I’ve been interested in people’s reactions to carol singing going on. Some indifference, but largely a joy inside them, a reminder of something, a reminder I hope that God is here. I loved it when a little boy came up to me as I stood in the middle of Rye High Street today and shouted “Hello Ian!” His mother said, “who's that?” He said, “That’s the man who comes into our school and tells us stories about Jesus.” We go into the world wherever we can to remind people of the divine in our midst – do not be afraid.      

Pondering tomorrow's Gospel (Matthew 1: 18 - 25) I found this commentary from my favourite Old Testament scholar, Walter Bruggemann helpful:

"Matthew gives us an angel's message in a dream that is beyond our control or expectation. He tells us that it is God's Spirit who makes all things new through this baby, and he names the baby twice. The baby is named Save, and Jesus saves from all that kills and is flat and sad. He names the baby God is with us, and we are not alone.

Notice that this story does not ask us to do anything. But I believe it invites us to be dazzled. It invites us to ponder that, while our world feels unsaveable, here is the baby named Save. Our world and our lives often feel abandoned, and here is the baby named God with us. So we are to be ready to have our lives and our world contradicted by this gift from God. We may rest our lives upon the new promise from the angel and we may be safe and we may be whole and made generous because Christmas is coming soon."

Perhaps we all need to hush our noise a bit and hear the angels sing. Who knows what listening to them might lead to. I have given out so much in these weeks, the thing I am looking forward to I think most is a chance to listen for me - that will come late on Christmas Eve as I find a midnight communion far away from Methodist Churches and take in - that will be lovely.   

An Advent Labyrinth you can do at home

Today I offered our Circuit a labyrinth. I think it was their first experience of one. 26 people passed through it in ten and a bit hours. It was great for me to sit there for ten and a bit hours and be still, listen for God and talk to people about the journey and what they had experienced. 

I thought I would repeat the labyrinth "on line" so if you need some space between now and Christmas Day, sit at your computer and do this slowly. It might help you enjoy the wonder of incarnation more to do some serious stillness in these few days ahead. I tire of people, especially ministers, who tell me how busy they are in these weeks, and who seem to have lost all the joy and wonder of the season. If we can't celebrate what God is doing in this season, I don't think we have much hope, really. 

So, as I said to one of our preachers who came in tonight and said she had never done one of these before, "enjoy!"

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There are 11 "stations" in this labyrinth and each one has something to think about and an image to look at.

Station 1:

The journey, the walk to Christmas begins here. Arise, shine, your light has come.

The longest journey starts with a single step. How do you feel as you set out? What star are you following? Do you know where it will lead?

Stop here and think about journeys you will make at Christmas and during 2014. 

Station 2:

The journey to God involves angels and proclamation. How did Mary feel when an angel confronted her? What does an angel look like – note the painted toe nails in this picture!

As God comes, are you open enough to listen for angels? And are you prepared to respond to their song?

Station 3:

Christmas is often done to a script! Remember how God’s ancient people thought the advent of God would come in a certain way, a certain type of king would come. Our Early Birds service at St Helens last month thought about Jesus the coming king. Think about how sometimes our expectations can be shattered.

Station 4:

The Christ child was visited by different groups of people, all unexpected. He comes to everyone. The Magi brought him gifts.. What will you give him this Christmas when you have found him? Many will look but not find. 

Station 5:

Someone wrote to me in a Christmas card: “Make sure you have some space for yourself.” The hymn says “make a heaven of my manger” Sit here and reflect on Gillian’s wonderful interpretation of the manger scene. Which character in the Christmas narrative are you? What do you need as you arrive here?

Station 6:

The shepherds were the first recipients of Jesus’ presence and they went back praising God for all they had seen and heard. Here are some shepherds and some sheep. Sit here and think about those who care for you and those who need you to care for them at the moment.

Station 7:

 The nativity scene is recreated in many ways. This is my favourite interpretation of it from Turvey Abbey. In this season we sing many carols (some of us VERY many!) Sit here and use some hymn books. Reflect on the picture and find some words of carols that describe this scene for you at the moment.

Station 8:

For some people, Christmas is hard and they focus on being alone and miss loved ones no longer with them. This space is to pray for those who suffer at this season.    

Station 9:

We live in a climate where people don’t know this story. A survey of children showed that a lot of them thought 25^th December was the birthday of Simon Cowell. We need to tell the story in a way that is understandable. Here is a space for creative juices. Write the Christmas story for today – where would you start?

Station 10:

John Betjeman in “Christmas” marvels that “the maker of the stars and sea became a child on earth for me.” Christmas is soon over. What difference will going through all of this, making this journey do to you? 

Station 11:

This story is about God believing in us. The centre of any labyrinth is about finding God close. So here is a last nativity scene. Before you leave today, ask yourself, what do I need to do to keep God at the centre of my life in 2014? What is your deepest wish as you travel from the manger and back into the world?  

I hope the people who came today went away a little bit less stressed before they came.

Sometimes we just need to stop and take in what is going on around us a bit more.

 The theophany of God and the incarnation of God take some pondering, after all!  

Living in the moment

I was on an Advent retreat yesterday at the lovely Penhurst Retreat Centre a few miles from my home. I am very glad I put a line through a Saturday in Advent a long time ago. It was the most wonderful day, led ably by a spiritual director called Sue, and full of companions from all sorts of backgrounds and with all sorts of needs.

Over the last four days, people have challenged me about living in the present moment a lot more and finding God in the present moment rather than spending time in pain about the past, or trying to do something about the future I can't control, or maybe isn't my business.

On Thursday, my spiritual director suggested I review the year spiritually and look at where God was in it and what God has been to me in it. I have not had the easiest year of my life in 2013. My personal life has changed and sometimes it has been hard, yet God has always been there. I have taken a lot of comfort from the "whining Psalms" as I call them, where God gets it from the Psalmist straight! But this year has also brought me a lot of comfort as I have developed groups looking at spirituality and have been changed by them.

On Friday I was challenged helpfully to think about resting a lot more in who I am, what I offer and not worrying about what others are doing around me. My natural reaction to unknown futures or difficult problems is to try and sort things myself, to get involved, to help, when sometimes I need to stand back, let others sort things, and wait for people to come to me for help if they need me. I have a children's book on my shelves "The Little Mole Who Knew It Was None Of His Business" - sometimes I am that little mole! Maybe sometimes we just need to do what we do faithfully, be the person we are called to be, and let the world go mad around us. If all is well with my soul, then I will find peace. I need help though, in not fretting especially when people around me are going mad about things... I have started at the end of the day lighting a candle and sitting still - it is an amazingly powerful thing to do. Thomas Merton had it right: "I want to remember to unplug the flashing lights," he once wrote.

Then yesterday on this retreat, I was really challenged about the blessings of today I have. Sue reminded us that Advent is a time to allow ourselves to be looked at by God, to hear the angels bring "glad tidings of great joy" for today, to like Mary hear the words from God, "blessed are you who believe what the Lord has spoken to you," and to be like Christ, who heard words from God too, "you are my beloved child, with you I am well pleased."  Then I read this article. In the Guardian  Giles Fraser quotes A S Byatt the author, who says: "The word Facebook is very interesting, because it means it's a mirror. And you need a mirror because you haven't got a picture. You need a mirror to tell you who you are." In other words, social media is all about "exchanging constant reassurances that you exist".  Then Fraser offers this commentary:  "As a sort of digital fasting, I'm going to give up social media for a while. The problem is that we have become terrorised by image, constantly fretful to manage the self that is reflected back to us, neurotically checking how many followers we have, at the mercy of other people's sense of who we are. Once we followed the star. Now we follow the stars, hoping they too might follow us. But maybe, just maybe, the star itself is a better guide. And, best of all, it doesn't always lead back to me. " 
People want to be noticed, and followed today. I don't want to be noticed. I just want to be quiet. I am very happy in the background.    

How have confrontations this past week helped me? Perhaps they were with angels!
Well, Thursday reminded me I am still in one piece, I still have blessings and God has been there even in the darkest pain this year. 
Friday reminded me that the best thing to do is get on with your life and be yourself and to worry less about things you can do very little about, or you can make worse if you try. 
And yesterday reminded me that I need to open my eyes more to what there is that is good, and to be open to God's surprise, the theme of all my services this year. 

I know a lot of my friends out there find my blogging helpful. I am writing this for those of them who cannot find time to be in this season. I just say that taking time this last week to reassess with companions on the journey, some I will never meet again, has been a moment of grace. Oh, and Penhurst is a lovely place to come and be. I am glad I have discovered it. The next retreat day there in February will be an interesting one - I am leading it! 
           

Advent Hope

I love Derek the Cleric. Here is a picture of expectation...

I am in the middle of Advent Sunday worship. This morning we had a lovely Advent Carol Service with communion in one of my churches, including exploring with the children who is coming "Santa Claus!" and what today might be called "Palm Sunday"! I am about to go and try something new for my churches, an Advent Taize Service in candlelight and I am looking forward to that very much after a difficult week of issues and stuff racing around my head. 

I often ponder why we don’t do Advent very well in the church. We rush on to Christmas, trees and decorations are up in two of my churches already and it’s a bit early. These weeks of Advent are as important for us to prepare as it was for those people in Asda on Friday, I think, trampling on people to get a bargain on "Black Friday".

Perhaps we don’t want to think, perhaps we are so busy worrying about the church that we have forgotten why we are the church at all, and perhaps we have forgotten to celebrate the enormity of God’s ways. This season is about God doing something. 

Perhaps we have forgotten his amazing grace, and so he comes and we don’t notice and we don’t even look, and more seriously perhaps we don’t even expect any more. The same Christmas decorations come out, we put them in the same place as every year, we do Christmas to a script and we expect no surprises. Or – we panic when things go a bit haywire in life and we think we can’t cope.

God is a God of promise and he never leaves us or forsakes us. He has all things under control. His story is clear and to the point – he is coming to look out for us despite ourselves, he has a plan for us, he loves us and so we should trust him. But we don’t wait for him to come in his time so we do our own thing because we can do better and we want good things now. We don’t want to wait for a Christmas made in our heart we want to make our own future – today. Like Molly my naughty cat on Friday night. There I was at home watching I’m a Celebrity on the sofa, chilled out. Molly is fed at a set time but she tries to con me that she needs more food inbetween. Last time I went to the vet it was embarrassing because a) Molly bit the vet, and b) I was told off because quote “your cat is a bit fat.” So, she has to wait for set meal times. I was dozing off when suddenly this little field mouse came scuttling past me on the floor followed by a cat – I want to do my own thing, I want it now. She didn’t understand when I grabbed it by the tail and we had a funeral as it soon died of fright. We have to wait for God in God’s own time, but God will come. That's our faith, anyway. And if today though I am tired and I don't get what is doing on around me, I still share it and believe it and know the breaking in of God will come. 

The joy of this season is that you get one service over and you start thinking about the next one. I found this new hymn by Gareth Hill which sums up these next few weeks and what I hope from them, very well. 

We do not look for angel choirs or visions in the sky, but simply pray that peace on earth comes nearer through the Christ child’s birth in Bethlehem for us, in Bethlehem for us.

We do not look for frankincense or wise ones at our door, but simply ask our prayers be heard
and that our restless hearts be stirred by Jesus’ newborn cry, by Jesus’ newborn cry.

We will not rest until we know that God makes all things new; until our search for answered prayer transforms the lives of all who dare to put their trust in you, to put their trust in you.

But still you send us songs of peace and wisdom whispers near.
You call us to the way of Christ, that in our living hope will rise from Bethlehem to here,
from Bethlehem to here.

In the middle of local church issues, demands for carols and readings for three week's time, demands to visit people, sort things out and personal stuff in my life, I need to let God in. I remember a quote a vicar had in a Christmas letter some years ago. A lady had said to him "I hate Christmas. I just want some peace and quiet to hear the angels sing."

Amen to that!