I am sitting here waiting for my friends to arrive, who are coming for a day to "do Rye"! Two of my three services for tomorrow are written. The third will be written after "The Voice" final... YEAH! (Sorry, have loved Sir Tom this series!)
The Rector in Rye said to me yesterday, exasperated at the number of services he still had to take, "at least you don't, like me, have something tomorrow." Methodists don't do Holy Saturday but perhaps we are missing something in not having something today.
Today, spiritually, is about being confident in the waiting, of acknowledging waiting as a time of strengthening, even if it is a time of confusion and you haven't a clue what to do, paralysed by circumstances, that mean all you can do is wait.
When I was very seriously ill in 2011 and off work for four months unable to breathe very easily and unable to talk very much or walk very far, I had a lot of waiting time. A major illness is frightening because you don't know where it is going to end. You wait for the thing to get better. In my waiting time, once I had got over the anger of being ill, and the frustration of not being able to do things, I learnt that in the waiting, there could come peace, it could be having time to read, it could be valuing little things. My cat had never sat on my lap until I was stuck on a sofa all day. Now sitting on my lap is part of her demands each day! You also learn in a waiting time what is important and what is not. Often people who fall ill due to rushing about, learn afterwards the things that they need to do and what things don't need so much energy.
I am trying today to get my mind round how those disciples were feeling post crucifixion. They had fled to safety, but they were direction-less. They had given up everything for what was now in their minds a failed project. What were they waiting for? A sign maybe of what to do next. Often when we get bad news, we need someone to help us work out the next step. Rushing into a decision can be unhealthy. There is a numbness physically in the waiting, I know at the moment of people waiting for tests and test results, feeling sick until they know what is wrong with them, of people who have recently been bereaved, adjusting to life, thinking about whether to move or not, waiting for what is the right thing to do but lacking energy to make any decisions, of people who have been made redundant, having space to work out what comes next, of people in the church whose blood pressure is rising because waiting for action is too hard for them, they want results now.
My experience of churches that have gone on to grow is that they waited. Sometimes it isn't the right time to do new things, or make decisions after a major event like a faithful member dying for example. Communities of faith that are healthy wait, wait on God's timing, spend time in the silence, not knowing, waiting for divine help, looking for hope in the uncertainty.
Last week on retreat, I spent a lot of time waiting. Waiting in creation's beauty, waiting in silence, listening only to the sounds of nature around me, waiting without pressure of a phone or computer and even apart from times for dinner, any time constraints. How do we use waiting times more positively? It is hard for us who always want to rush on and get to a destination.
Maybe Jesus waits to rise to allow us some breathing space, to recover from the shock of Good Friday. Maybe with some space and some reflective time, we will be more open to encounter him when he comes. As my picture says we are waiting for someone worth waiting for.
Often when we have to wait for something, we value it more. So let's have, even if we don't do it in a church today, a day of positive waiting.
"Waiting for God is an active, alert, yes, joyful waiting. As we wait we remember him for whom we are waiting, and as we remember him, we create a community ready to welcome him when he comes. " Henri Nouwen.
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