I am writing this blog in my hotel room in Edinburgh as it has turned bitterly cold outside! I will write about Edinburgh and going home and a trip to Mossley for a funeral of an amazing lady next week but this writing is about what an amazing six day retreat on Holy Island has done to me.
My former colleague Kerry Tankard sent an R S Thomas poem to me on Sunday called "Gift":
Some ask for the world and some are diminished in the receiving of it.
You gave me only this small pool that the more I drink from, the more overflows me with sourceless light."
Lindisfarne for me is that small pool - the more I go there the more overflowed with light I feel. When the taxi turns the corner after Beal and you see the causeway and the Island in the distance you are overwhelmed with peace. I wonder what tourists going over for the day get from the place as they wander around? I can't see how you can't come away with something changed in you. This was my eighth retreat in Cambridge House and for me perhaps being part of a sabbatical - and already rested and blessed from my days with the Emmaus House team in this City, it was my best so far.
I really appreciated several things. First the privilege of community - the sense of no longer strangers but pilgrims. A time of deep conversation over meals, some deep stuff shared with real trust (perhaps a model we should revisit in churches where so many are destroyed when trust breaks down. Remember the Methodist class meeting and what it did and the call to watch over one another in love!) This time it was different as I shared this time with people I knew from before either on the Island previously or elsewhere. Jacqui, Lis, Kim and I got on well - we had a lovely evening for example sharing a bottle of wine in a hotel bar and Lis and I had two afternoon tea meetings. Kim and I (both Superintendent Methodist presbyters) put the church to rights one evening over a few glasses of cherryade as well. Very civilised! There were other retreatants with us Joanna, Sue and Fiona who we got to know less well but all of them on leaving said goodbye like we had shared a special space and time together. Community is built when we listen to each other's stories, when we respect other people's journey, when we invest time in the other. Are we too busy doing stuff to the detriment of building each other up? People want to be wanted and valued.
Secondly I appreciated time to simply be in the silence of God's presence. This was best done on Thursday afternoon when I did my once a visit long walk over the dunes to the most amazing beach
ever - and to have it to yourself is an awesome thing. Every time though I think I know how to get back but always manage to have to scramble under a wire fence as the path out is nowhere near! I then sat by the causeway with the tide in in absolute quiet for ages - so long I got sunburnt - just listening to the birds sing, cuddy Ducks quack and seals in the distance make whatever noise seals make and the gentle wind. I remember the poem " a poor life this if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare." (William Henry Davies "Leisure" ) Lindisfarne reminds me every time I am a human being not a human doing. Do we need to build into every day some time to be silent and watch?
Finally I think I am really enjoying receiving worship and not leading it - though I am doing some on this journey. The evening prayer every day in St Mary's Church was powerful - a huge awareness that being there I am becoming part of the story of faithful Christian worship held on Lindisfarne since Aidan arrived in the 7th century. The rhythm of the prayers is beautiful - once you get used to the pause as you read aloud at the black dot! I loved Canon Kate every night reminding us that we need to thank God for everything we have done, the people we have met, that have shown us that small pool to return to R S Thomas. I also deeply appreciated receiving communion kneeling this side of a rail on Sunday morning.
When Holy Island "gets you" your perspective alters. God's Kingdom is come! It is a thin place full of small pools. The God moments are many from worshipping, eating, listening, sharing with God's other creatures this bit of earth - who knew an afternoon watching sheep and lambs can bring you so much joy? When you meet with fellow children of God away from church programmes we talk about life - not refurbishments or fund raising or damp - important though these things are. If we are the people of God then we need more God time and we need to create the time in our daily routine. I am writing this having been to evensong - I have prayed at 5.30 for the last two weeks and have found it to be so helpful. Can I do this every day in my prayer space at home - especially when I am back at work after this time? Also time like this retreat time reminds us of the power and the possibility of God.
I read this in the quiet room at Cambridge House waiting for a taxi on Sunday. In a book on the Celtic saints was this amazing paragraph:
"One of the hallmarks of the saints (like Aidan and Cuthbert) was their recognition of the immanence of the Kingdom and their ability to live in it daily. The saints teach us to let go, relax and let the order of the universe flow through us. We learn to give thanks constantly for the present moment and to be satisfied. This dwelling in the Kingdom of heaven gives us an amazing freedom. We let go of judgments and preoccupations and know that all is well and moving towards healing.
We slowly learn to allow things to be as they are. We do not need to make things happen, rather we allow their coming. What people say and do cannot make us unhappy at a deep level, for our joy is a constant state to be entered into at will, it is unchanging and exists beyond appearances."
("Celtic Pilgrimage - Sites, seasons and Saints" by Elaine Gill and David Everett)
The writers go on to remind us the purpose of going to places like Holy Island is to heal the soul and to set aside time in a place set apart when we can consider and reconsider without busyness.
It should add depth and meaning to life when you are back home - that small pool.
So thank you Holy place for your power and your peace and your placing of me in community with others and with you, with the saints and with the God who has always something new to show us. I will be back next year.
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