Week four of this fabulous sabbatical time has seen me mostly at home here in Hastings, apart from a trip to Mossley for the funeral service of the amazing Annie Marsden, to celebrate 106 years of life and laughter and service. More on Mossley in a couple of weeks when I am back there for longer.
Being at home but not at work is a little strange but it is good. The weather this week has been glorious and I have taken the opportunity to do a lot of walking, photography, reading and pondering in the sunshine, catching up with friends and just taking time. My book is coming on! Hastings is packed today with people enjoying the warmth and everyone looks happy.
I've been doing some thinking this week about people needing to know that they matter. There are so many broken people out there who need to know they are part of something, that somebody somewhere cares. Last Sunday and this, I have dropped into the two largest Anglican churches in our town to see what community feels like from the outside, how faith is communicated and if I feel I matter at the end and how I put the message of the worship into practice.
Sunday 1st May saw me at St John's Church in Upper St Leonards, a high church with plenty of incense flowing. I was warmly welcomed, the liturgy was beautiful, the choir excellent, the service was informal with down to earth folk leading it, yet extremely formal in our approach to God. The preacher was excellent reminding us that, using the Revelation passage set for last Sunday, in the end if we trust God, we must believe in the end there will be a new world. We matter and because we matter God sends us into the world to help him in the work of redemption. I was impressed that children were involved in the procession coming in bringing their own bible and candle to the front, then taking them out to their own session then coming back in to join everyone for the sacrament. It was a happy and uplifting morning and I would worship there if I wanted somewhere to go.
This Sunday, today, saw me at Holy Trinity, Hastings, at the 11.15 service. HTH is a plant from Holy Trinity Brighton which is a plant from Holy Trinity Brompton of Alpha fame. A new Alpha course beginning on Wednesday was being heavily advertised this morning. Did I matter here and was I equipped to be a Christian tomorrow from this service? Well, I was spoken to on arrival, given a quality cup of coffee and a pain au chocolat (had I known this would happen I wouldn't have had a bacon sandwich and a coffee before in the cafe opposite!) I was chatted to, and asked if I was new etc. The vicar, Simon, spent time talking to new people and was keen to make sure they were getting to know others and feeling part of it. I was amused by the countdown clock on the screens telling us how long it was til service began. Good idea! A quality music group lead us in about six songs, none of which I knew. It was very informal, people brought coffee and pastries into the worship, chatted to each other as the songs were happening, some had arms in the air, some were speaking in tongues, some were whispering "yes Jesus" throughout, some sat, some stood. The songs were mostly about blood and sin being wiped away. We had communion, a set C of E order in the middle of the service which felt a bit strange, then the vicar preached on being clothed in Christ using three Old Testament stories to illustrate people who didn't feel they mattered. This included 2 Samuel 9 - the story of David showing kindness to Mephiboseth who replies in verse 8: "what is thy servant that thou shouldest look upon such a dead dog as I am?" The vicar told us all we matter only if we are clothed with Christ, have our sins washed away and ask for forgiveness. Then the service ended with the congregation standing to ask the Holy Spirit to come, and an invitation for prayer ministry. No final hymn. The vicar said "thank you everyone" and everyone was invited to a picnic in the park.
In the past, I have been very critical of conservative evangelical worship. This morning I was determined to go with an open mind. A lot of it was good, professional, welcoming, attractive, and free. But I was left uneasy that the world outside was not mentioned at all, I was told I matter if I accept Christ but was not told what difference that makes to Monday morning and the challenge of tomorrow. I was not challenged to change the world. I was okay and life was okay in him - Amen! The community there were clearly happy and vibrant and it is growing. But I left thinking of what the late Graham Slater at Hartley Victoria College when we trained for ministry used to say when he came to access our worship: "where was your clincher, young man?"
That verse though Simon, the vicar used from a chapter of the bible I have never read is a powerful one which is where a lot of people are: feeling they are a "dead dog" - worth nothing. I firmly believe the mission of the church is to be community which embraces people and makes a difference. My ecclesiology is very much Sunday worship or worship any way is merely to top us up, remind us of the ways of God in order to be incarnate and sacramental in the world, in the mess of life. Part of the worship this morning offered me a Jesus who is sugary sweet - not really what I see when I read of him. People are yearning for people of faith to make a difference in the world, to offer them community. I went and saw a traumatic film on Monday "Son of Saul" - one man's story of the Holocaust at Auschwitz Birkenau. A horrible two hours reflecting on people being treated like dead dogs by others who believed they could treat people who were different to them like they want to create a pure race. An article in the New Statesman describes the film as "your close up on hell." And while we pray that sort of thing will never happen again there are people around us who are going through hell today. And worship surely of a God who suffers (not that there was any of that this morning) is about redeeming the world and changing it one life at a time - isn't it?
So how to create community and bring the dead dogs into believing that they matter? Well, I am drawn to Henri Nouwen who said "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain or touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand." That is what genuine relational community is - one person at a time. I am blessed with people in my life who do that for me and I am trying to be that for others. So, while this morning was hard, it has helped me discern more who I am and what I am led to be and do, and so I am glad I went.
Next week, worship in sunny Blackpool led by my friend and a silver band! Very different.
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