I am about to begin my last few days here which feels strange. I've been here over a month now and it will be very hard to leave. But there are special things ahead on the journey and I am, despite feeling very wobbly about returning to work after three months away, looking forward to seeing everyone again. They have some interesting things for me in my last week here planned. I move up to Unst on Saturday for my last three days, which will include staying in a massive house on my own, leading worship in the most northerly church in the country and then sharing in an evening cafe service and celebration on Sunday night. I am beginning to get my head round the journey back. I seriously underplayed the fatigue I felt after getting here - a week on Tuesday will involve a ferry from Unst to Yell, a ferry from Yell to the mainland, an hour's drive back to Lerwick, twelve and a half hours on a ship to Aberdeen, seven hours on a train, an overnight stop and a lovely evening planned which will be very special, then the next day being taken to pick up my car which is at my Mum's, then a drive round the M25 and down to Hastings. I might surface a week on Friday for an evening meeting!!! Folk will have to be patient with me as the pace here has been very slow, and I've got used to it. But I am soon to leave it and return to some sort of normality but I return a different person. More of that in my last reflections I suspect next week!
I've been to three different services since the last blog post a week ago. The District here held a super farewell evening for the outgoing Chair, Jeremy Dare at Lerwick Methodist Church last Monday. He has clearly had an amazing pastoral ministry here and will be missed, although he and his wife Sheila are staying on Shetland, setting up home on Yell. The District turned out in large numbers to say thank you - we had a good time of worship together, preceded by an enormous buffet. There were about 120 in a tiny hall and the food was served up in an even tinier kitchen. They then got more food out after the service! It was good to be included almost as a temporary member of the team here and I enjoyed the evening chatting to people. It was great to sit next to the Rev David Cooper, who is a Methodist minister serving in a Church of Scotland appointment on Unst, who was one of the people on the recent BBC Island Parish programme. He was great fun and as quirky as he came across on the television! The organist at Lerwick who is very elderly, played "I cannot tell why he whom angels worship" very slowly. David turned to me when we finished singing and said "at last!!" Then he disappeared for the ferry. Unst is a long way north, you forget how big these islands are. I have been shocked how tired I've been after a day's work on a Sunday. I didn't get out of bed today until 3pm!!
I have tried to work out this week what the focus of the church is here. I am conscious the Methodist Conference is meeting as I write this and will churn out more policy and priorities for us to follow - how we are God's people effectively for the 21st century. I made the point to my District Chair about the pressures of Superintendency before my sabbatical that with more and more procedural stuff and legal stuff and mission stuff some of which my context can't cope with, I am in danger of becoming more and more detached from the pastoral needs of my communities. I've not heard mission mentioned once here. The main focus seems to be pastoral care and nurture of small communities. The Chair clearly has been an exceptional pastoral visitor, driving miles each week to visit people in remote places. I have asked myself what my emphasis would be if I were stationed here. Some people have this week spoken with me about the church and numbers waning. Apart from in Lerwick and in Scalloway and perhaps two or three others there are no new people coming. Several of the Methodist societies have closed, some still open are only open because of a few coming to them still. The church at Sandness which I visited a week yesterday is open because two people have a holiday home there and keep coming. Others are only open when people are not away. They chat together and when everyone is on holiday or out, they cancel the service. It transpires the church I sat outside a few weeks ago now worship in the community centre. There was no sign on the church to tell me that, nor was that in the listings in the Friday Shetland Times. I mentioned it to someone, and laughed that in this week's Shetland Times it now says "Gruting (Community Centre)"! A lesson for us when we assume no one might be coming and don't put a notice out when there is a change. A new Superintendent arrives here at the end of next month and the pressure on him is high - people are waiting to see what he will do. I cannot for some of these places see much future. The emphasis is on pastoral care rather than mission and outreach.
I lead worship yesterday morning at Vidlin, a fantastic setting for a chapel. There were twelve there, and we had a good time. I used the Conference service liturgy and tried to link them with what was happening in London. They were quite responsive, and we had I think a helpful hour. Coffee followed, only four stopped though. They shared with me their problem that in a growing community in recent years (300 live in Vidlin) and having an active primary school at the other end of the harbour, they have tried things like Messy Church and holiday clubs to no avail. The minister is only seen once a plan, they have a fortnightly service only, two of them a plan are local arrangements. The other Sunday in between they go up a very windy road to Lunna Kirk, where there are six at most. It has been suggested the two churches merge. The Kirk people went mad even though their building is unaccessible in winter, but it is an important part of Shetland history so cannot close. I had a good morning in Vidlin, including a lovely lunch with Pearl Johnson who led a holiday club with me 20 years ago and it was good to spend time with her. My first taste of rhubarb cheesecake!
Last night I decided to change denominations and take the ferry over to Bressay and join the Church of Scotland congregation there for their 6.15 service. I was stared at as I opened the door at 6.14, having been on the phone to someone right up to the door so I was very last minute. Three ladies sat there. A tune book was thrust into my hand without a word. The vicar, the excellent Rev Dr Caroline Lockerbie told us this was her third service of the day. She led us in a thoughtful theological exposition of being a neighbour. It was very deep, I did lose her when she drifted onto original sin and Calvin but it was good to be led and be stretched. The seats in a Church of Scotland church are quite bizarre. As I found at St Giles in Edinburgh, you sit at the sides, the pulpit faces the front. The vicar last night was behind the organ and a flowerpot so I couldn't see her. It was very strange. Everyone seemed overwhelmed a visitor had come. They were very friendly afterwards but it showed me how hard it is for people to come into church cold. Sometimes small dying communities have lost any expectation that someone might come and their facial expression can be negative! Again I learnt in the Church of Scotland several of the clergy here are retiring soon, with no one to replace them, and something has to give.
The emphasis in every service I have sat in and every conversation I have had here about the nature of church is it is keeping people inside it aware of God's love for them and looking after them pastorally. Apart from ministry to tourists off boats in Lerwick and the excellent Friday cafe at Walls and I think the church I end in at East Yell who are quite go ahead, I see no going out at all happening. Back home we have emphasized new ideas and mission, and perhaps - I say perhaps - I have in my programme and my time neglected being alongside people, being too busy sorting safeguarding and supervision and falling down garages and charity commissioners, and statistical returns... I came into ministry to be with people and offer them worship and prayer and care and a reminder of God's love. Plenty to ponder! The Ordination Service which many will have experienced at Conference yesterday includes a phrase that always makes me shudder: "let no one suffer at your neglect." Can the Church really pile on more and more pressure on its ministers?? I intend now to be far more chilled out and to look after myself and those close to me far more, while still working hard. I have never felt this well and it has to continue. I am determined it will!
I've also had many helpful conversations this week with people about what it is like to live here.
Issues have come out like:
- While my pink sky pictures are lovely and I find huge peace standing in the light at midnight, the winter here is no fun when it hardly gets light at all, and many people suffer from depression.
- Young people find it hard to get work here and many have to leave to go to the mainland of the UK for study and long term work. Some don't cope with being away from here at all and soon come back. There is a huge project here called "Mind Your Head" encouraging people to talk about how they feel when they feel lonely and then back here unemployed and directionless.
- Older people here don't do change AT ALL! Hence holding on to traditions and ways of life that perhaps now don't work. The Church of Scotland last week held a meeting to discuss merging three churches closing Scalloway and Weisdale and meeting in the middle of them at Tingwall. Apparently there was blood and no decisions were made!
- It is cripplingly expensive to get off the island. I was speaking to a Mum whose daughter is at university in Newcastle. It costs over £4000 a time to take a car on the boat and have a cabin and then fill the car with petrol.
- The vote on the EU will affect lots of people who work here from across the continent. One of the bar staff in the hotel comes from Bulgaria and is returning there to start a business next week. He told me he's been here two years and with the dip in the pound will take home less money than he had hoped.
- Shetland needs to keep its tourism industry developing, as that now is its main source of income. The place has felt like part of Scandinavia really to me, not part of the UK at all.
I continue to enjoy taking some amazing pictures. I have learnt my lesson from the other day though - got a bit soaked taking this one!!
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