Going away...

Passage for reflection: John 14: 15 - 21

“I will not leave you orphaned, I am coming to you.”

How many times in life have we prepared people very carefully for something that is going to happen, but when it does, it is still a huge shock to them? 

When someone announces they are going away or leaving it leaves a huge hole in us. We will have to get used to them not being around in our lives every day. They might be moving on to exciting new adventures but we ask “what are we going to do without them?”

When we leave a place or people we care about, it is hard. Those of us in itinerant ministry find,  although moving on is part of our discipline, it can be painful to let go of people you’ve cared for in their sorrows and their joys for a few years. I especially feel for those who are in the last few months of an appointment this year as I don’t think there can be any huge farewell parties. Marking a leaving is important. I left Hastings through illness very suddenly. I did not end my appointment properly and did not see some people again. I was grateful that it was made possible I could go back for a farewell. Similarly I will leave the Fens without finishing. A global pandemic ended my recuperative phased return to work on Sunday 15 March! 

When we know we are leaving somewhere, in usual circumstances we make plans so that we know those we are leaving behind will be cared for. It’s natural that people knowing they will be left behind, feel worried, because what they know is changing and there is a void to cope with. 

In his farewell speeches, which the Gospel reading for this Sunday is part of, Jesus addresses this uncertainty and anguish. 

“Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” 

He recognises sometimes life and what it will bring us is tough...

“You will weep and mourn. You will be in pain, a pain as fierce as labour pain.”

“In the world you will have tribulation.” 

Pastoral care at huge times of transition in life is so important. The bit of the ordination charge I still find a huge challenge is “let no one suffer hurt at your neglect.” I’ve not got that one sorted yet and I have forgotten people. I think ministers who are caring for their people at this time are giving them assurance when what they have known all their life - going to chapel - has gone. 

I like to think about Jesus’ tone of voice as he prepares his closest friends for what is to come.

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you.” 

“I will not leave you orphaned, I am coming to you.” 

How does it feel to be orphaned? 

The solicitor in Harpenden has just completed matters concerning my late mother’s estate, nearly three years after she passed on. It still feels strange not to be able to ring her up and go to the house in Harpenden I grew up in. To not have that generation above us is very odd to begin with. We have to grow up! 

There are orphans in the world today: babies being abandoned, those who never knew their parents. It’s been a problem through history. The Foundling Hospital' (offering hospitality) was a very famous London institution, founded in the 1740s by an old sea-captain called Thomas Coram, as a home for deserted children.

He had been very distressed by knowledge of the large numbers of unwanted children that were found on doorsteps or under bushes, sometimes dead from exposure because found too late. His idea was for a charitable institution that would take in these unwanted children, and care for them until they were of an age to fend for themselves. All children taken in as foundlings – even those whose names were known – were given entirely new identities at the outset. The hospital provided shelter, food, clothing, medical care, education, and work placements so its children were well equipped to cope out in the world.

We all need to know we are cared for, at times of vulnerability. I continue to remember those of us classed as “vulnerable” at this time when parts of the country seem to be moving again. We want reassurance. We watch the government briefing as we are unsure it is safe to send our children back to school. Gavin Williamson is sent out to reassure us. A lot of people feel his style is like a vicar of old delivering a sermon from a lofty pulpit. One tweet says:

 I want @GavinWilliamson to say ‘if you’d turn to your hymn books we will now sing our final hymn ...’

I think one of the most horrific and cruel things to happen in this pandemic will be the end of funding by the government to help the homeless on our streets helping local authorities to “get everyone in.” Now people will be forced out into the night again and into danger. That cannot be right. 

“I will not leave you orphaned, I am coming to you.” 

Jesus, into the panic of his friends, announces a comforter, his presence with them in a new way. I don’t think they got what he meant at all. Imagine being in that upper room listening to him. So much to take in. But his message to them was you will never be on your own. 

And surely that is the heart of the Gospel, isn’t it? 

That no matter how unsettling life is, no matter how abandoned by society we feel, no matter how fearful we are that we are still on alert level 4 with this virus, no matter what happens to us in life especially when things we thought we could rely on for ever are taken away, we will never be on our own. The Holy Spirit of God comes with power and with peace. 

That doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes easy, but it does mean there is no part of life, however shitty, we are abandoned to cope with alone. 

“I will not leave you orphaned. I am coming to you.” 

The late Rachel Held Evans preached this text well. She wrote these words in the context of adults dealing with being abused by their parents but in the context of where we find ourselves if we are honest right now, they are words for all of us: 

“You are not alone. You are not orphans. You have not been forgotten. That stubborn voice inside of you, that champions you, that is angry on your behalf, that calls you beloved, that tells you not to give up — that is your Advocate, your Paraclete. Listen to him. Believe him. Obey him. 

You have not been orphaned, not by the Spirit, and not by those in whom the Spirit has made a home.”

And her conclusion is the pastoral care Jesus gave his friends, and we all need I think, and that which we are charged to give to all who think they are left to fend for themselves is freely given. 

“May all of us who feel vulnerable, for one reason or another, be reminded that we have an Advocate and Comforter, and that sometimes the hardest, most liberating thing to do is to listen, to obey, and to actually believe he’s in our corner.”

Go and write that paragraph out and stick it somewhere you see it every day. To know we are always loved and cared for, makes a huge difference. And believing it makes us to cope when all around us is quite mad...