Losing our mojo

Rachel Burden who presents the breakfast show on Five Live has tweeted this:

“Anyone else feeling the 3 month slump? Maybe it was after 1 month or 2? Grumpy families. No motivation. Not much to look forward to. We’re going to explore what happens to your brain after 3 months of lockdown and work out how to get a bit of mojo back. @bbc5live breakfast”

Perhaps the 3 month slump explains why I’ve been so out of sorts this week. I feel stuck. I feel like this tree. We've had torrential rain here last night and in the early hours of this morning while half asleep, I half heard a bang. I rolled over and went back to sleep. When up I looked out of the kitchen window and saw this twenty foot tree in the garden. It needs attention after a storm. And so do I! 

I posted a miserable post about the frustration of shielding after three long months and no clear answers what might be relaxed next. Then I deleted it as it was wallowing in self pity a bit. I can go for a walk. Will I soon be able to meet people in a garden? Is it true that shielding will end next month? I get clear answers about the Premier League returning and Primark reopening but less clear answers about the future for a group who really are beginning to feel forgotten. 

I think the slump is mostly down to having to sort moving out of our rental home we should have been in until September but had to move out of early. It’s hard work moving in a global pandemic and you can’t be there when the removers are and other tradespeople. And if you go in the house with them you have to dress like this! 

To have our possessions in storage yet again is hard, and to not have seen our cats since the end of January and not able to have them back until the end of August is hard. We’ve moved too many times in the last two years and we are exhausted. Hopefully the next move will be the last for many years! We say bye bye to the Old Vicarage and hand over keys next Tuesday. Sadly the tenancy agreement can’t end until September 3 so rent will continue to be paid, but in many ways it will be good to drive away next week.  

Life can have a habit of throwing bricks at you when you are already struggling. A situation I thought was over for me is back in my consciousness because of an e mail I had to deal with yesterday and I’ve not found revisiting a difficult time easy. 

I need urgently to get my mojo back. I’m starting to watch daytime TV. Help! Chase the Case, Father Brown and Escape to the Country! Not good. 

So what to do? 

First, I need to get back to my book. I’ve written 13,000 or so words so far and I need to get back to it. 

Second, I need to do my vlogs again as over 200 people watch them. I couldn’t do one last week as i couldn’t walk after lifting too many boxes in the house and moving them about to help removers before they came, and tonight I went out to do one and found I had nothing to say... 

And third, I need to do some serious spiritual reading. I’ve two new fab books next to me to help me think about the essentials of ordained ministry as I prepare to return to it full time, and another on the hospitality and inclusiveness of the Church. I’m looking forward to both books. 

It’s okay to feel stuck and to lose our mojo for a while. This pandemic is far from over, even if it feels like the rest of the world is leaving those who are vulnerable behind. I described it earlier today as being a straggler in cross country at school. By the time I got back most of the others were having dinner! It’s okay to acknowledge we are struggling when it is too much. I want pizza from the take away down the road, I want fish and chips, I want people in my garden not just a massive tree, I want to be remembered by government, please! 

I always turn to the Psalms when I’m stuck. Psalm 68 is the Psalm of no mojo, of difficult circumstances, of frustration but a refocusing on God’s power. Read it slowly if you, like me, are struggling a bit tonight...

May God arise, may his enemies be scattered; may his foes flee before him.

As smoke is blown away by the wind, may you blow them away; as wax melts before the fire, may the wicked perish before God.

But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful. 

Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds  -- his name is the LORD-- and rejoice before him.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families,  he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. 

When you went out before your people, O God, when you marched through the wasteland, the earth shook, the heavens poured down rain, before God, the One of Sinai, before God, the God of Israel. 

You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance.

Your people settled in it, and from your bounty, O God, you provided for the poor. 

The Lord announced the word, and great was the company of those who proclaimed it:

"Kings and armies flee in haste; in the camps men divide the plunder.

Even while you sleep among the campfires, the wings of [my] dove are sheathed with silver, its feathers with shining gold."

When the Almighty scattered the kings in the land, it was like snow fallen on Zalmon. 

The mountains of Bashan are majestic mountains; rugged are the mountains of Bashan.

Why gaze in envy, O rugged mountains, at the mountain where God chooses to reign, where the LORD himself will dwell forever? 

The chariots of God are tens of thousands and thousands of thousands; the Lord [has come] from Sinai into his sanctuary.

When you ascended on high, you led captives in your train; you received gifts from men, even from the rebellious-- that you, O LORD God, might dwell there. 

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Saviour, who daily bears our burdens.

Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death. 

Surely God will crush the heads of his enemies, the hairy crowns of those who go on in their sins.

The Lord says, "I will bring them from Bashan; I will bring them from the depths of the sea,

that you may plunge your feet in the blood of your foes, while the tongues of your dogs have their share."

Your procession has come into view, O God, the procession of my God and King into the sanctuary.

In front are the singers, after them the musicians; with them are the maidens playing tambourines.

Praise God in the great congregation; praise the LORD in the assembly of Israel.

There is the little tribe of Benjamin, leading them, there the great throng of Judah's princes, and there the princes of Zebulun and of Naphtali.

Summon your power, O God, show us your strength, O God, as you have done before.

Because of your temple at Jerusalem kings will bring you gifts.

Rebuke the beast among the reeds, the herd of bulls among the calves of the nations. Humbled, may it bring bars of silver. Scatter the nations who delight in war.

Envoys will come from Egypt; Cush  will submit herself to God. 

Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth, sing praise to the Lord, to him who rides the ancient skies above, who thunders with mighty voice.

Proclaim the power of God, whose majesty is over Israel, whose power is in the skies.

You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!