Sabbatical blog 6: Spare us, Lord

This week I have been thinking about sacred space which is a space for humanity to express its rawness and let God respond to that cry. My beloved Old Testament tutor at Hartley, David Wood taught us the need for lament in liturgy, as there are times when it isn’t okay out there and we need the space to voice that. 

We began this sixth week of journeying at choral Evensong at St Peter’s Church in the middle of Harrogate. It is a beautiful Victorian building with some very well done contemporary refurbishment. The retired priest leading us, Michael Hunter, said he had no words about the state of the world but he hoped we’d enjoy choral Evensong like we’d never been enjoyed it before:  that angel song might one day drown out the noise of where we find ourselves he has to turn off. 

The choir sang the anthem “Remember not, Lord, our offences” by Henry Purcell. The priest noted it was not quite as printed on our service sheet, “thank God” he said! I found the words powerful:

“Remember not, Lord, our offences, 

Nor the offences of our forefathers

Neither take thou vengeance of our sins,

But spare us, good Lord.

Spare thy people, whom thou hast redeemed with thy most precious blood, and be not angry with us for ever.

Spare us, good Lord.”

The silence after the last sentence was awesome. We need sparing! There was no sermon. Again, we were told he had no words. It’s been interesting when we’ve focussed on Ukraine in worship these last few days, we’ve not had it preached, we’ve been invited to be silent and seek God. God weeps at the moment. There was a dreadful image in Monday’s papers of a young family and their pet dog in a carrier all killed by a bomb as they were trying to escape. Horrific. Then imagine you get to Calais hoping to get to our welcoming country and you are told to go back to Paris or Brussels for the right papers but here’s a bottle of water, a bag of crisps and a Kit Kat. 

We ended the service with “Jerusalem the golden” A hymn reminding us of the end we hope for. I’d not sung it in years. The hymn has long since disappeared from Methodist hymn books: it might now be a bit Victorian and trite but I got why it was chosen last Sunday. 

On Monday afternoon I went into the cathedral at 4pm and found I had the place to myself! There was no one about at all and without people in it it felt more sacred. I went into the crypt of St Wilfrid, the only bit of his original building left from 672. The crypt is the oldest part of any English cathedral still in use today. The fact that prayer and longings have been voiced here for 1350 years is mind blowing! The crypt was built to reciprocate Christ’s tomb. It’s tiny and dark. There is an information sign down there which says pilgrims later visiting the crypt would then climb the stairs to the light and magnificence of the cathedral to be reminded of the power of the resurrection. It was good to have a slow solitary pilgrimage. The stones felt soaked in honest prayer. I was joining many others who over 1350 years have offered them there. 

 I’m discovering on this journey many local spots that, when I’m back at work and need space to hide in I can just go and find. I found in Skelton cum Newby on Thursday, the amazing church of Christ the Consoler. I was overwhelmed by it but then found its story… 

“With its colourful and vibrant interior, this Victorian church seems the very celebration of life, yet it stands as a testament to tragedy.

It is a memorial to Frederick Vyner who, age 23, was captured and murdered by brigands in Greece in 1870. His mother, Lady Mary Vyner of Newby Hall, used the money collected for his ransom to commission British architect William Burges –- celebrated for decorating Westminster Palace and rebuilding Cardiff Castle -– to design this church built in 1871 to 1876 in the grounds of her home at Newby Hall.

The interior is wonderfully rich and colourful - pattern and colour are everywhere, with stained glass, fine marble and gilded mosaics filling the interior. Exquisite carvings on the corbels and on the organ case bring stone and wood to life, while in the rose window, Christ the Consoler presides.

Everything is on a magnificent scale; the effect is almost overwhelming. And yet, for all its splendour, you cannot forget the tragic circumstances out of which this church was built.”

The church here was built out of a grieving mother’s pain. And now it’s owned by the Churches Conservation Trust and not used for worship except a notice said you can hire it for services. I spoke out loud in it being in it on my own and my voice boomed out and I found the place strange but peaceful. I will return.

On Friday, we had to be in Harrogate so I took the chance to return to St Peter’s Church to see the contemporary image of the Last Supper by Iain Campbell. They are using the open table as their Lent theme. I saw the painting in progress during my last sabbatical in 2016 on a visit to the Tron Church in Glasgow, so it was good to see it completed. I found this on Iain’s website: the folk in despair today are Christ. Very powerful. 

“This was the very first image Iain painted in St George’s Tron, Church of Scotland. The Last Supper is the central image to Christianity; it is round the table that Jesus said, ‘remember me’. Guests of Glasgow City Mission were selected as the models – choosing some of the most marginalised in society to be painted rather that those who are richer. 

People often ask “which of the people in the painting is Jesus?” It felt important to Iain that no one stood out as a conventional Christ figure; in Matthew 25, Jesus says, ‘whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me’ and with that in mind, any one of the poorest people we meet can represent Jesus.”

On Friday afternoon, we had a drive into parts of Nidderdale we hadn’t yet discovered. Sadly churches in Dacre and Darley and Hampsthwaite had their doors closed but I did find one open in Birstwith. This was yet another vast Victorian building, built in 1857. The Victorians did vast well! I didn’t feel particularly welcome in it as I was interrupting the organ tuner! But at least it was open. 

The sacred space moment of the week came not from a visit but from a television programme. Stacey Dooley spent several weeks with the sisters of the Order of the Holy Paraclete who live in community near Whitby. She has no faith but went open to what might happen to her while there. The programme saw her enter into the discipline of regular worship and prayer and good works, such as at a food bank in Middlesbrough. The sisters were a delight. They radiated calm and peace and were full of joy and laughter. Why did this programme hit me? Well, Stacey Dooley said to them when the world is bad she thought there cannot be a God, whereas they lived a life which says when it is bad, God is.

 I’ve written on this journey about regular prayer and relying on the promises you recite regularly. I keep thinking about those sisters and their manner. Their lives are full of God. Maybe when this journey is done I need to be better in between stuff to recite and remember a bit more. My spiritual director has suggested I put my little Book of Common Prayer in my pocket and use it through the day wherever I am. 

At the end of the programme, as Stacey Dooley was preparing to leave, the sisters told she didn’t have to become a nun to find God, but you can find God in simple things like a sunrise or a sunset or in people or acts of kindness. I recommend the programme to you if you haven’t seen it. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m00156nh

On Friday afternoon I saw God in the silence of Brimham Rocks, an weird yet amazing place. The rocks have been there for thousands of years. I wasn’t expecting so many of them and the views over Nidderdale are fabulous. 

I’m still seeing closed churches as I’m travelling about but this week I’ve seen churches reminding people to pray for Ukraine. Even blue and yellow ribbons on one which wasn’t open just outside Pateley Bridge, sent out a strong message.

So what’s the message of this week? That our yearning to be spared will be heard. And that we don’t always need a church building to do that! And again regular crying out to God will be heard — in the end. I wonder when we are struggling to keep our churches going whether we need to seek God’s will far more about what to do. The energy we spend worrying about money in the end will drain us without us being earthed in God first. 

I met two members of one of my churches - well I bumped into them -  and they shared their worries with me about the future of their church which is struggling. The word “depressing” was used. How do I get the folk there to see God may not be finished with them yet. We are bad at being open. And yet when we seek God, God answers. Perhaps we bury ourselves in church survival and worry because getting involved in God’s solution might involve more work than we cope with, especially as we are tired. Discuss! 

Spare us, Lord. 

I end these thoughts with Ukraine again which has dominated this sabbatical. These words of the Ukrainian President remind us that even in the darkest time God will act…

“You could destroy all our Ukrainian cathedrals and churches, we will not destroy our faith.

“Our sincere faith in Ukraine and in God. Faith in people.