Rediscovering what matters

So I went to see the doctor. 

He said ' Mr Cooper, I haven't seen you in a long time'

I said ' I know, I've been ill'

You can’t beat a bit of Tommy Cooper! 

I’ve realised over the last few days I need a break. With few answers yet to the things that need answering in our life, I recognise I am mentally exhausted. Yesterday I put a box of cat food pouches in the fridge, then I went to the shops, parked the car, then couldn’t find the car on going back despite walking past it three times! 

Tonight I need to know simply that God cares. I’m not in a good place but I hold on to those who care for me and walk with me each day. This morning in church, I went to listen for a word. Two words came as we sang “And can it be?” The words that Jesus “emptied himself of all but love, and bled for Adam’s helpless race.” 

There’s comfort isn’t there in a God on a cross who empties himself and all that remains is love we cannot describe or measure. When we are empty, we need filling. When we are empty spiritually, we go to the foot of the cross and meet the vulnerability of God and leave our crap there and wait in silence for direction and healing. 

Then Jesus bled. We don’t do blood in hymnody these days nor do we properly do Good Friday. That Jesus bled is a vital part of spirituality. A God who just does froth doesn’t get my life. When we are helpless, we need to know someone who has been where we are doesn’t then run away. In a world that is bloody, I need a Jesus who gets bloody too. It’s not straightforward or pretty most of the time, let’s be honest about it. 

How do we do this emptying and bloody brand of Christianity? Some thoughts came to me today. I miss preaching SO much! I got upset in church this morning. We were very late so the only seats were in the front row right in front of the lectern. The minister is an old fashioned sort and only uses the pulpit. I kept staring at the lectern with no one behind me and so wanted it to be me. But not to be, yet! 

First, we need to forget power and dominion. The Jesus we say we believe in washes feet, gets involved in mess and empties himself. Power and horrid stuff cannot win. There will always be a brighter tomorrow even if we can’t see how we get to it today. I’m reading some Harold Kushner at the moment, a wise Jewish Rabbi who writes eloquently about Job. He says, “Let me suggest that at the core of Jewish God-talk is the unshakable conviction that God’s most dominant attribute is His commitment to justice rather than power. Earthly kings lust for power, for total control, and are prepared to sacrifice justice, to hurt innocent people, to hold on to power. But as far as the God of Israel is concerned, in a conflict between justice and power, justice will prevail. God will not do wrong.” That’s great, isn’t it? 

Then we need to make a commitment to be bloody! I’m aware so many people just need help. I’ve just written an e mail asking for help. I’m amazed how quickly the person I wrote to replied. I feel better. We also need a commitment to be kinder. We are watching a lot of inane TV at the moment. We’ve just finished Grantchester. The new priest preached a sermon at the end of the last episode. I know it was only the sermon from the vicar of Grantchester but how true his comment.

“Be kind. As most of those you meet will have a hidden troubles that you’ll simply not know about”

A credible church will be dominated by effective pastoral care. 

I’m having a break now from blogging and from social media for a few weeks. We need to get away for some space and to listen to each other and for God, due to life happening around us. In the meantime I rest in God and I hope... 

Rediscovering what matters, I will pick myself up and go on, but for now, I stop. It’s okay to be exhausted. After some time out, I may not walk past the car three times trying to find where I parked it!!!!